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204. Ditch the Dependence: Building Confidence Without External Validation

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Content provided by Susan Callender. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Susan Callender or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.

In today’s episode, we dive into the powerful topic of external validation and how reliance on others’ approval can limit your growth and confidence.

For professionals, the need for validation from bosses, colleagues, or clients can create a cycle of dependence that keeps you playing small. We break down common scenarios where this need shows up in the workplace, plus actionable strategies to help you build self-confidence from within. You’ll learn how to shift your focus from others' reactions to your own internal standards and gain practical tips for fostering true social confidence that’s grounded in you.

Tune in for empowering insights and transformative strategies to break free from approval-seeking and start owning your professional and personal success!

**

Don’t even know where to begin in improving your people skills?

Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be?

Book a Social Strategy Session HERE

Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook

Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com

LinkedIn

Instagram

TikTok

  continue reading

159 episodes

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iconShare
 
Manage episode 447846022 series 2843251
Content provided by Susan Callender. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Susan Callender or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.

In today’s episode, we dive into the powerful topic of external validation and how reliance on others’ approval can limit your growth and confidence.

For professionals, the need for validation from bosses, colleagues, or clients can create a cycle of dependence that keeps you playing small. We break down common scenarios where this need shows up in the workplace, plus actionable strategies to help you build self-confidence from within. You’ll learn how to shift your focus from others' reactions to your own internal standards and gain practical tips for fostering true social confidence that’s grounded in you.

Tune in for empowering insights and transformative strategies to break free from approval-seeking and start owning your professional and personal success!

**

Don’t even know where to begin in improving your people skills?

Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be?

Book a Social Strategy Session HERE

Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook

Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com

LinkedIn

Instagram

TikTok

  continue reading

159 episodes

All episodes

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Tired of feeling like you need to be someone else to succeed professionally? This episode is for everyone who's ever said "I'm just not really a people person," or felt awkward at office parties while watching more outgoing colleagues get ahead. What I'm Covering: Why the things you think are holding you back (like thinking before you speak) are actually your professional superpowers The common excuses that keep capable people stuck in the same roles for years How to reframe your natural tendencies as strategic advantages instead of personality flaws You don't need to become more extroverted, more aggressive, or more politically savvy. You need to recognize that your natural approach to work is already valuable and stop apologizing for it. ** Social Summer Camp Registration is open Don’t even know where to begin in improving your interpersonal skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Social Summer Camp Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
What if the only thing standing between you and effortless social confidence isn't your personality or past experiences—but simply what you believe to be true about yourself as a social being? In this transformative episode, I'm revealing how your thoughts create your social reality and giving you the blueprint to rewire your brain for social success. What I'm Sharing With You: Why you don't have a social skills problem—you have a belief problem The shocking truth about how beliefs literally create your social reality How to identify the hidden limiting beliefs that are keeping you socially stuck My proven framework for creating new beliefs that serve your social goals ** Don’t even know where to begin in improving your interpersonal skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE --> Social Summer Camp Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
Have you ever been cut off mid-sentence, had your idea hijacked, or been completely misunderstood with no chance to recover? If you're someone who already finds speaking up challenging, these moments can feel devastating. In this episode, I'm sharing exactly how to reclaim your voice and communicate with unshakeable confidence. What I'm Covering: Why interruptions hit socially reserved people especially hard (and why it's not about the value of what you're saying) The real psychology behind why people interrupt—from enthusiasm to power plays My proven strategies for recovering in-the-moment when someone cuts you off or misunderstands you How to have follow-up conversations that prevent future interruptions without damaging relationships My In-the-Moment Recovery Framework: Stay Centered and Reclaim the Floor - Confident phrases to get your voice back Use Your Body Language - How to project confidence even when you're feeling rattled Address Misunderstandings Immediately - Scripts for clarifying without being defensive Bridge Back to Your Point - Techniques for returning to your original contribution ** Don’t even know where to begin in improving your interpersonal skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
Join me for episode #235 where the discussion is all about how the key to speaking in public is more about your thoughts about your ability to speak coherently and less about the words you say. ** Don’t even know where to begin in improving your interpersonal skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
Episode #234 is all about cracking the code to instant belonging—and trust me, it's not about changing who you are, it's about sending the right signals that say "I belong here" before you even speak. What I'm Sharing With You: Why the secret to belonging is acting like you already do (and the psychology behind why this works) The 90-second window where people decide if they like you—and how to nail it every time My 5-Point Belonging Blueprint that works whether you're in a boardroom or at a backyard BBQ How I transformed from feeling like an outsider at conferences to being someone people actively seek out Your 4-Week Action Plan: This episode offers a week-by-week roadmap to help you implement these strategies, starting with observation and building up to high-stakes social situations where you can practice everything together. What I Want You to Know: Your reserved or hesitant personality isn't a limitation, it's your superpower waiting to be strategically deployed. Ready to Go Deeper? Grab my Social Confidence Breakthrough Video Series Join me in The School of Social Mastery You already have everything you need to belong—now you just need the skills to show it! ** Don’t even know where to begin in improving your interpersonal skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
In episode #233, we take a look at the truth about why technically brilliant professionals get stuck while less talented colleagues zoom past them—and shares the exact social strategy that changes everything. The Shocking Truth: Harvard research reveals that job performance accounts for only 10% of career advancement decisions. The other 90%? It's all about relationships, visibility, and influence—your "social strategy." The 3-Part Career Advancement Framework: Part 1: Get Your Image Game On Point Conduct a "perception audit" to identify the gap between your actual brilliance and how others see you Master strategic storytelling to communicate impact, not just activities Transform from "the data person" to "the strategic business thinker" Part 2: Become Strategically Visible (Without Feeling Gross) Find your career champions through value-first relationship building Go after high-impact projects using "strategic volunteering" Master executive micro-interactions that build your reputation Part 3: Build Influence That Actually Inspires Invest in relationships that create upward spirals of success Develop executive presence through social skills, not title Master strategic likeability and persuasion that feels good to everyone Your "Get Ahead" Action Plan: 1. Get real about where you stand through honest feedback conversations 2. Pick your power focus area for maximum impact 3. Map your strategic relationships 4. Become a communication strategist 5. Create consistency systems that compound over time The Bottom Line: Stop believing the "meritocracy fairy tale"—your career advancement is a people game, not just a performance game. Learn to play it authentically and watch your opportunities explode. Resources: Social Confidence Breakthrough Video Series: SocialConfidencePro.com/breakthrough The School of Social Mastery: SocialConfidencePro.com/mastery Time to make your brilliance as visible as it is real! ** Don’t even know where to begin in improving your interpersonal skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
In episode #232 we explore how resistance is the invisible force keeping you from social confidence and authentic self-expression. What You'll Learn: How resistance shows up specifically in social situations and career advancement The completion exercise: "I'll do anything to prove I'm socially confident, except (______)" Why resistance gets stronger the closer you get to breakthrough moments The difference between resistance and legitimate concerns about social situations How perfectionism, comparison, and analysis paralysis are disguised forms of resistance Your Action Plan: Identify one small action to take this week, expect resistance to show up, take action anyway, and notice how you feel afterward. ** Don’t even know where to begin in improving your interpersonal skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
In this eye-opening episode, we'll look at how taking a pass on after-work social events could be costing you money, missed opportunities, new business, and promotions. What You'll Learn: The psychological principles that make face time so powerful for career advancement Why remote workers need to be even more intentional about creating social connection opportunities Practical strategies for non-drinkers and introverts to navigate workplace social events ** Don’t even know where to begin in improving your interpersonal skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
It can be frustrating watching others advance while feeling stuck in your career. Today we reveal how social skills and confidence play a much bigger role in professional advancement than most people realize. What You'll Learn: The four hidden reasons professionals get stuck in their careers Why technical skills might get you hired, but social skills get you promoted How losing your passion affects your social presence at work Why comfort zones create "social atrophy" that limits your visibility The misconception that career success requires sacrificing work-life balance Key Takeaways: Career plateaus are often more about social dynamics than technical capabilities Small, consistent actions compound over time to create professional momentum How you communicate your value matters as much as the value you create Breaking through requires both internal clarity and external visibility Resources Mentioned: Social Confidence Breakthrough Video Series: SocialConfidencePro.com/breakthrough The School of Social Mastery: SocialConfidencePro.com/mastery Take the first step to breaking through your career plateau by identifying which of the five framework steps resonates most with your situation, then commit to one small action this week. ** Don’t even know where to begin in improving your interpersonal skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
Ever walked into a networking event and immediately felt your confident professional persona dissolve into awkwardness? In this episode, we tackle the art of conversation at business socials and reveal how accomplished professionals can transform these dreaded events into genuinely enjoyable—and valuable—experiences. What You'll Learn: Why "What do you do?" is the conversation killer you need to eliminate from your repertoire The psychology behind why social settings feel more challenging than structured work environments A simple approach to breaking the ice that feels generous rather than awkward The perfect balance between asking questions and sharing about yourself Whether you're a seasoned entrepreneur who dreads industry mixers or a corporate professional who gets tongue-tied at company events, this episode provides immediately applicable techniques to showcase your authentic self in any social business setting. Resources Mentioned: Free download: " The Ultimate List of Conversation Starters ” Get on The School of Social Mastery Priority Access List ** Don’t even know where to begin in improving your interpersonal skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
In episode #228, we tackle the uncomfortable truth about why smart, accomplished professionals hold themselves back socially—and the far-reaching consequences of this hesitation. If you've been telling yourself that your social skills are "just how you are" or that it's "too late to change," this episode will challenge those beliefs and offer a clear path forward. This episode is for high-achieving professionals and business owners who know they could have greater impact if only they could overcome their social hesitation. Learn why waiting isn't an option and how taking action now creates positive ripple effects across all areas of your life. ** Don’t even know where to begin in improving your social skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
In this episode, we explore how those seemingly small social moments from childhood continue to shape your professional behavior decades later. If you've ever wondered why you hold back in meetings, avoid the spotlight despite your expertise, or feel anxious before networking events, this episode reveals the surprising connection to childhood social experiences. Whether you're a business owner, entrepreneur, or corporate professional feeling held back by inexplicable social anxiety, this episode provides compassionate insights and actionable solutions to help you finally step confidently into the spotlight your expertise deserves. ** Don’t even know where to begin in improving your interpersonal skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
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Social Skills Mastery
Social Skills Mastery podcast artworkSocial Skills Mastery podcast artwork
 
In this episode, we explore cognitive dissonance—the psychological discomfort that occurs when our beliefs and actions don't align. We discuss how this phenomenon affects our daily lives, decision-making, and personal growth, featuring insights from leading experts and practical strategies for managing cognitive dissonance. Key Topics Covered Definition and history of cognitive dissonance theory How our brains respond to contradictory beliefs and behaviors Common examples of cognitive dissonance in everyday life The relationship between cognitive dissonance and decision-making Techniques for resolving internal conflict and using dissonance as a catalyst for growth Don’t even know where to begin in improving your interpersonal skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
In episode #225 of the Social Skills Mastery podcast we explore the science behind creating lasting positive impressions and developing genuine likability in professional contexts. Episode Highlights: Discover why Maya Angelou's insight that "people will forget what you said and did, but never how you made them feel" is the foundation of true likability Learn about confirmation bias and the halo effect - the psychological mechanisms that make first impressions so powerful and difficult to change Explore the Inside-Out, Outside-In approach to creating positive first impressions by managing both your internal state and external presentation Understand the "interest paradox" - why being interested is significantly more effective than trying to be interesting Master techniques for creating positive emotional impact in every interaction Develop authentic positivity through control orientation, solution architecture, and possibility thinking Learn practical strategies for energy management to maintain appropriate presence in different contexts Discover how to strategically curate your professional network for maximum growth and opportunity Authentic likability isn't about manipulating others—it's about creating environments where people experience themselves positively in your presence. Through evidence-based practices and consistent implementation, you can develop the kind of genuine likability that enhances all dimensions of your professional relationships and career trajectory. Don’t even know where to begin in improving your social skills? Are you ready to leave social stress behind and go from where you are to where you want to be? Book a Social Strategy Session HERE Free Guide: The Social Skills Playbook Have a question that needs an answer. Email me at Hello@SocialConfidencePro.com LinkedIn Instagram TikTok…
 
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