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Help! I’m in a parentified relationship!

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Manage episode 463517679 series 3581353
Content provided by Understood.org and Cate Osborn. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Understood.org and Cate Osborn or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.

Romantic partners often support and help each other out with different things. And with ADHD in the relationship, there might be some extra support needed here and there. But what happens when that support crosses the line into parentification, or taking care of your partner like they’re your child? Or the other way around, where your partner is responsible for taking care of you?

Psychologist Lesley Cook (@lesleypsyd) visits the podcast to talk about how to notice parentification happening in your relationship, and the resentment that can build when it goes unnoticed.

Related resources

Timestamps

(03:03) What is a parentified relationship?

(05:37) When an ADHD partner is the “parent” in the relationship or takes on too much responsibility

(07:33) Are parentified relationships typically gendered?

(08:48) Fairness versus equity in relationships

(11:44) Weaponized incompetence

(14:49) What happens to a relationship when it’s parentified for too long?

(17:19) Notice, shift, repair

(18:45) What to do when you notice yourself taking on too much responsibility for your partner

(21:08) People pleasing, and the need to fix things

(22:46) How to ask the right questions to your partner

(24:07) Noticing your ADHD at play, and using it as an explanation, not an excuse

(28:02) Setting an example as a parent to kids

(32:24) Lesley’s parting advice

(33:00) Where you can find Lesley and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

  continue reading

28 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 463517679 series 3581353
Content provided by Understood.org and Cate Osborn. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Understood.org and Cate Osborn or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.

Romantic partners often support and help each other out with different things. And with ADHD in the relationship, there might be some extra support needed here and there. But what happens when that support crosses the line into parentification, or taking care of your partner like they’re your child? Or the other way around, where your partner is responsible for taking care of you?

Psychologist Lesley Cook (@lesleypsyd) visits the podcast to talk about how to notice parentification happening in your relationship, and the resentment that can build when it goes unnoticed.

Related resources

Timestamps

(03:03) What is a parentified relationship?

(05:37) When an ADHD partner is the “parent” in the relationship or takes on too much responsibility

(07:33) Are parentified relationships typically gendered?

(08:48) Fairness versus equity in relationships

(11:44) Weaponized incompetence

(14:49) What happens to a relationship when it’s parentified for too long?

(17:19) Notice, shift, repair

(18:45) What to do when you notice yourself taking on too much responsibility for your partner

(21:08) People pleasing, and the need to fix things

(22:46) How to ask the right questions to your partner

(24:07) Noticing your ADHD at play, and using it as an explanation, not an excuse

(28:02) Setting an example as a parent to kids

(32:24) Lesley’s parting advice

(33:00) Where you can find Lesley and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

  continue reading

28 episodes

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