Navigating emotional intimacy with ADHD

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

#Fitness #Podcasting Education #Self-Improvement #Mental Health #Understood.org #Cate Osborn

40:22

There’s only so much you can do in a week – or, according to Oliver Burkeman, in the roughly 4,000 weeks the average human lives. Oliver is a journalist and author of the books Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, Meditations for Mortals, and the newsletter “The Imperfectionist.” Chris and Oliver discuss the paradox of why change can only occur once we accept that we might not be able to change. Oliver also shares how life’s mishaps can become our most treasured memories and why sharing your imperfections is an act of generosity. For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscripts For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscripts For a chance to give your own TED Talk, fill out the Idea Search Application: ted.com/ideasearch . Interested in learning more about upcoming TED events? Follow these links: TEDNext: ted.com/futureyou Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.…

about a year ago 31:45

MP3•Episode home

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

Emotional intimacy is about sharing an emotional connection and presence with yourself and other people. But a lot of ADHD traits, and lived experiences, can get in the way. This could be due to trouble with emotional regulation, the emotional labor it takes to feel believed, masking, and more.

Michelle Frank is a clinical psychologist and the co-author of A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD. Listen to this conversation exploring how shame can be a roadblock to emotional intimacy, and how this intimacy can look different within every relationship.

Related resources

Michelle’s book, A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Sari Solden and Michelle Frank

Timestamps

(02:46) What is emotional intimacy?

(04:14) Barriers to emotional intimacy with ADHD

(09:33) Shame and ADHD

(15:29) What steps can we take to build emotional intimacy?

(17:28) Sitting in uncomfortable feelings, and rejection sensitivity

(20:48) People pleasing versus building authentic connections

(22:36) What about when we’re in a relationship without emotional intimacy?

(28:41) Where can you find Michelle?

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

32 episodes

Navigating emotional intimacy with ADHD

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

29 subscribers

published about a year ago

MP3•Episode home

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

Related resources

Michelle’s book, A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Sari Solden and Michelle Frank

Timestamps

(02:46) What is emotional intimacy?

(04:14) Barriers to emotional intimacy with ADHD

(09:33) Shame and ADHD

(15:29) What steps can we take to build emotional intimacy?

(17:28) Sitting in uncomfortable feelings, and rejection sensitivity

(20:48) People pleasing versus building authentic connections

(22:36) What about when we’re in a relationship without emotional intimacy?

(28:41) Where can you find Michelle?

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

32 episodes

#Fitness #Podcasting Education #Self-Improvement #Mental Health #Understood.org #Cate Osborn

All episodes

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
So... How does that make you feel about your therapist? 30:38

13 days ago30:38

30:38

Ever wondered if your therapist gets you, or if therapy is even working? You’re not alone. This week, Dr. Elizabeth Kilmer is back to unpack the complicated, sometimes confusing, always human relationship between therapist and client (especially when ADHD is in the mix). Host Cate Osborn and Elizabeth dig into how different types of therapy work, how to tell if therapy is actually helping, and what kinds of conversations are and aren’t fair game in the therapy room. Whether you’re starting therapy for the first time or reevaluating a long-term fit, this conversation will help you trust your instincts and advocate for what you need. Related resources Dr. Kilmer’s website, elizabethkilmer.com Treatment for mental health issues Dialectical behavior therapy: What you need to know Cognitive behavioral therapy: What is CBT? Timestamps (00:00) Intro (00:43) What inspired this episode (01:53) Relationship between therapist and client basics (04:45) How do we know if a therapist is a good fit for us? (06:50) What is a ‘therapeutic modality’? What is a ‘manualized treatment’? (09:36) How do we know if therapy working? (13:51) How do we give feedback to our therapist? (17:29) How do we breakup with a therapist? (19:35) What do we talk about in therapy? (23:52) What do we do if we don’t have access to therapy? (26:09) Advice on how to start therapy (29:22) Outro and credits We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
ADHD and destigmatizing your desires 25:53

27 days ago25:53

25:53

Forget what you’ve seen in movies: BDSM isn’t one-size-fits-all. As Dr. Leann Borneman explains, it’s more of an à la carte menu where consent, communication, and personal boundaries come first. You can take what works for you and leave the rest. Host Cate Osborn talks with clinical sexologist Dr. Borneman about the intersection of BDSM, neurodivergence, and executive function. They explore how some people with ADHD use parts of BDSM, like structure, sensory input, and clearly defined roles. These can help support attention, reduce overwhelm, and build emotional regulation. Listen as Cate and Leann challenge outdated assumptions, and learn how destigmatizing your desires can help you show up more fully in your life. Related resources Leann’s website, bornemancoaching.com Leann’s dissertation, The Intersection of ADHD and BDSM Engagement in Heterosexual Women For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org. Timestamps (00:00) Intro (00:48) A comment from Cate on stigma (02:35) BDSM as a coping strategy, not just a preference (03:58) Society’s stigma versus the scientific research (06:37) Pick and choose what works for you, you don’t have to label yourself (10:53) ADHD and sexuality: Incapability versus lack of access (13:10) What is causing this lack of access to good sex? (17:27) Unmasking is key to authenticity and figuring out what you like (19:11) BDSM creates space for safety through it’s collaborative and consentful nature (21:54) Leann’s advice for those curious about BDSM and kink (24:33) Outro and credits Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
ADHD grief isn’t linear — and that’s totally normal 34:39

6 weeks ago34:39

34:39

Grief can be overwhelming for anyone — but for people with ADHD, it can show up in surprising ways. Therapist Rachel Hopkins joins host Cate Osborn to unpack the intersection of ADHD and grief. They discuss how time blindness, emotional intensity, and memory challenges can shape the grieving process — and how ADHDers might mourn in nonlinear, unconventional ways. Rachel also offers some insights for anyone struggling to grieve “the right way” while living with a neurodivergent brain. Related resources From the ADHD Aha! p odcast, Love and grief with ADHD (Steve Wesley’s story) Grief-Fueled ADHD: Strategies to Manage A Complex Combination by Rachel Hopkins The Invisible String by Patrice Karst The Grand Hotel of Feelings by Lidia Brankovíc Timestamps (00:48) A word from Cate on ADHD and grief (03:05) Nonlinear ADHD grief (06:11) Executive function challenges and grief (09:34) Emotional regulation and planning immediately following a loss (11:03) Time perception challenges and processing grief (15:34) Rejection sensitivity and worrying about others’ judgement of our grieving (20:19) Balancing distraction and avoidance (26:24) The importance of acknowledging that your ADHD will affect your grief, and celebrating your wins (27:29) ADHD and delayed grief reactions (29:30) Advice for neurotypical people supporting an ADHDer through grief (30:44) Rachel’s last thoughts and advice for any ADHDer going through grief right now For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org . We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
How hormones hijack focus, mood, and energy 28:23

8 weeks ago28:23

28:23

ADHD in women is often misunderstood, even by ourselves — and hormones are a big part of the story. This week, host Cate Osborn chats with psychiatrist and researcher Dr. Lotta Borg Skoglund about how hormone cycles affect ADHD in women. From PMS to perimenopause, we explore how shifting hormones can change how ADHD shows up — and how that impacts mood, focus, and relationships. Dr. Borg Skoglund shares what the research says, what often gets overlooked in diagnosis and treatment, and how understanding the patterns in your cycle can make everyday life a little easier. Related resources ADHD Girls to Women by Dr. Lotta Borg Skoglund Lotta’s research group, GODDESS ADHD A guide to hormones and ADHD From the Climbing the Walls podcast: Are hormones the final frontier for women with ADHD? Timestamps (01:42) The changes in hormones during the menstrual cycle, and how they can affect ADHD symptoms (04:57) ADHD symptoms across hormonal life milestones like puberty, pregnancy, and menopause (10:21) The formation of Lotta’s research group GODDESS ADHD (14:25) The importance of this overdue research, and the constant dismissal of women’s hormonal challenges (17:12) Mapping your cycle to help understand your ADHD symptom fluctuations (21:10) How do we track these things if our cycles are non-traditional? (24:06) How do hormones connect to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org . We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
Too much or not enough: ADHD sensory challenges and sex 30:45

10 weeks ago30:45

30:45

If sex sometimes feels confusing, overstimulating, or just... a lot, you’re not alone. ADHD and sensory issues can show up during sex and in our physical relationships. This week, psychologist Dr. Lyne Piché joins us to discuss how ADHD and sensory challenges can shape our sex lives, and how to talk about it. From touch sensitivity to struggling to focus, we dive into why things might feel like “too much” one minute and “not enough” the next—and how to figure it all out. Related resources Dr. Piché’s website, www.ADHDsex.com Dr. Piché’s ADHD and Sex workbook An earlier Sorry, I Missed This episode: ADHD, sensory systems, and communication Timestamps (2:07) What is a sensory issue? (05:16) How do we build awareness and language about our sensory issues in the bedroom? (09:45) How do we tell the difference between sensory overload and just not being in the mood for sex? (12:15) The importance of trust in your partner, and not “enduring” something just for someone else (15:22) How kink can help with sensory issues in sex (16:42) Letting go of the shame over not liking the things that you’re “supposed” to like (19:07) How can we talk to our partners about our sensory needs if we’re scared of hurting their feelings or disappointing them? (22:47) Building “yes” spaces and talking to our partners about our sexy sensory dos and don’ts—without feeling unsexy (27:44) Trying things out more than once to determine whether it’s a sensory issue or a preference For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org . We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
ADHD and caregiving: Helping others when you’re struggling 23:25

12 weeks ago23:25

23:25

Being a caregiver to a friend or loved one is hard—add ADHD to the mix, and it’s a whole different challenge. Self-care and ADHD Coach Stephanie Antoine joins us to talk about what it’s like caring for our loved ones while managing executive dysfunction, burnout, and more. She also offers a few mindfulness practices to help us recenter when the stress feels like too much. If you’ve ever struggled to care for someone else while trying to keep yourself afloat, this one’s for you. Related resources Stephanie’s website, stephanieantoine.com Download: Feeling stressed? Try the 5-4-3-2-1 mindfulness technique From the ADHD Aha! podcast, Jessica McCabe on motherhood, social anxiety, and ADHD medication Timestamps (02:59) Why did Stephanie start helping others in caregiving roles? (04:52) Executive function and caregiving, and beating yourself up (07:51) How do we manage big feelings like frustration and resentment while caregiving? (12:33) Perfectionism and caregiving (17:14) The one thing Stephanie wants you to hear today (19:09) A short guided meditation exercise from Stephanie For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org . We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
Kink, BDSM, and ADHD 29:15

14 weeks ago29:15

29:15

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now. ADHD and kink might seem like an unexpected pairing, but for a lot of people, they go hand in hand. From rituals that help with focus to play that taps into the need for stimulation, BDSM can be more than just fun — it can be a real tool for regulation and connection. In this episode, host Cate Osborn chats with author and forensic sexologist Stefani Goerlich about how BDSM can actually support ADHD brains by offering structure, sensory input, and clear communication. Related resources Stefani’s website, stefanigeorlich.com Stefani’s books Timestamps (02:46) The broad umbrella of ‘kink’ (04:16) Focusing on BDSM in particular, and breaking down the acronym (08:38) Kink is always relational, only sometimes sexual (09:48) Why might someone gravitate towards kink/BDSM? (12:30) Common kink myths (15:44) Power exchange, and consent as foreplay (16:32) The benefits of BDSM/kink (18:24) How kink can help with claiming agency (21:10) How negotiated arrangements can take some of the strain off executive function challenges (23:39) What to do when one partner is kinky, and one is not so much For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org . We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
Online dating with ADHD 27:47

16 weeks ago27:47

27:47

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now. In theory, online dating can feel like an easy, low-stakes solution to meeting people. But in practice, there are a few pitfalls that many fall into. With ADHD, dating apps can pose even more challenges and be an additional drag on your attention. Clinical Psychologist Dr. Shauna Pollard visits the show to talk about what she’s noticed while working with ADHDers on online dating. Join this conversation on the dopamine chase that can happen while using dating apps, and setting boundaries with yourself. Related resources Dr. Pollard’s website A dating coach talks ADHD and super-connecting ADHD and emotions Timestamps (01:58) ADHD and online dating challenges (09:17) Hyperfocusing on dating, and how to slow down (11:41) “Marketing yourself” on online dating, and how to show the whole picture of who you are (14:01) Figure out your “filter” for online matches, and include offline dating in addition to online (17:03) Snap judgements, biases, and discrimination (19:02) Feeling overwhelmed? Do what feels best for you (20:02) ADHD disclosure on dating profiles (22:42) Best practices for ADHDers to build meaningful relationships For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.org . We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

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Reddit reactions: ADHD, cheating, and weaponized incompetence 30:47

18 weeks ago30:47

30:47

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now. Are ADHD and cheating related? What about weaponized incompetence and ADHD? These are a few questions that surround the ADHD community. Producer Margie visits the podcast for another round of ‘Reddit reactions’ with more posts from the ADHD women subreddit. Listen for host Cate Osborn’s reactions on a few different scenarios related to cheating and weaponized incompetence. Related resources The National Domestic Violence Hotline The ADHD Women subreddit ADHD support for Women by Understood.org’s Facebook group Timestamps (02:00) Post #1 “ADHD and cheating/Adrenaline and dopamine” (09:24) Post #2 “Narcissist cheater and ADHD” (15:30) Post #3 “Does anyone else sometimes identify with those ‘weaponized incompetence’ guys you hear about?” (21:22) Post #4 “I’m so tired of trying to compensate for myself AND my partner” (27:51) ADHD can be challenging, and you’re not alone For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood . We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
What makes a ‘good listener’ with ADHD? 27:24

20 weeks ago27:24

27:24

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now. People with ADHD can often get a bad rap for being “bad listeners.” So, instead of actually listening, we’re often focusing on: Do they know I'm listening? Am I making enough eye contact? Do I look engaged? Host Cate Osborn chats with Understood.org Vice President of Expertise and licensed therapist Sarah Greenberg about the listening strengths and weaknesses that can come with ADHD. They also unpack different modes of listening like listening to understand, listening to solve, and listening to connect. Related resources How attention works From the ADHD Aha! p odcast, “Why don’t you listen?” Paying attention vs. hearing (Peter’s story) Timestamps (00:41) Feeling self-conscious about our ability to listen with ADHD (05:56) Different modes of listening (07:40) Figuring out our listening strengths and weaknesses (14:32) Anecdotal communication (16:48) Asking what a person needs out of a conversation (21:47) What can we do? For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.org We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
Building ADHD community 27:04

22 weeks ago27:04

27:04

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now. Without community, ADHD can feel isolating and shameful. Like you’re the only one facing these challenges and “can’t get it together.” Community provides a space to share the wins and the embarrassing moments. And it can be especially helpful for women processing late diagnoses. Host of the ADHDAF podcast and UK ADHD community builder, Laura Mears-Reynolds, visits the show to talk about how sharing experiences with others can ease shame, and create support. Related resources adhdasfemales.com The ADHD Women subreddit ADHD Support for Women by Understood.org’s Facebook group Timestamps (00:57) How do we find value in a community with ADHD? (03:58) How did Laura get started building the ADHDAF community? (09:39) Feeling alone in what you’re facing without community (14:36) Being compassionate with others helps us be compassionate with ourselves (18:14) Feeling isolated with ADHD (19:56) How do I find community? How do I build it myself? For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.org We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
The ADHD shame spiral from making mistakes in relationships 27:56

24 weeks ago27:56

27:56

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now. A lot of shame can come up when a person with ADHD is confronted about a mistake they’ve made. They might start to spiral into bad feelings, and negative self-talk, when really the person bringing up the mistake most likely wants to repair their relationship, and even strengthen their bond. Host Cate Osborn chats to ADHD coach Jaye Lin about why this happens, and what we can do to “reverse the train” to stop the spiral. Jaye is the host of another show on the MissUnderstood podcast channel, Tips from an ADHD Coach . Related resources The MissUnderstood podcast channel (where you can find Jaye’s podcast, Tips from an ADHD Coach ) ADHD and: Shame ADHD and emotions Timestamps (00:41) Being scared of making mistakes or showing ADHD traits (04:38) “Reversing the train” instead of spiraling when someone brings up a mistake we’ve made (08:23) Slipping into the shame spiral easily (11:28) Directly addressing the damage caused by your actions, intentional or not (15:51) The element of repair (16:30) Perfectionism and internalized judgement (20:28) Rejection sensitivity and how we react to things (23:19) The “scary moment” when someone brings up your mistake (25:55) Jaye’s last piece of advice For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood . We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
Navigating emotional intimacy with ADHD 31:45

26 weeks ago31:45

31:45

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now. Emotional intimacy is about sharing an emotional connection and presence with yourself and other people. But a lot of ADHD traits, and lived experiences, can get in the way. This could be due to trouble with emotional regulation, the emotional labor it takes to feel believed, masking, and more. Michelle Frank is a clinical psychologist and the co-author of A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD . Listen to this conversation exploring how shame can be a roadblock to emotional intimacy, and how this intimacy can look different within every relationship. Related resources Michelle’s book, A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Sari Solden and Michelle Frank Timestamps (02:46) What is emotional intimacy? (04:14) Barriers to emotional intimacy with ADHD (09:33) Shame and ADHD (15:29) What steps can we take to build emotional intimacy? (17:28) Sitting in uncomfortable feelings, and rejection sensitivity (20:48) People pleasing versus building authentic connections (22:36) What about when we’re in a relationship without emotional intimacy? (28:41) Where can you find Michelle? For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood . We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
Help! I’m in a parentified relationship! 34:49

28 weeks ago34:49

34:49

Romantic partners often support and help each other out with different things. And with ADHD in the relationship, there might be some extra support needed here and there. But what happens when that support crosses the line into parentification, or taking care of your partner like they’re your child? Or the other way around, where your partner is responsible for taking care of you? Psychologist Lesley Cook (@lesleypsyd) visits the podcast to talk about how to notice parentification happening in your relationship, and the resentment that can build when it goes unnoticed. Related resources Lesley’s TikTok, @lesleypsyd A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Sari Solden and Michelle Frank Timestamps (03:03) What is a parentified relationship? (05:37) When an ADHD partner is the “parent” in the relationship or takes on too much responsibility (07:33) Are parentified relationships typically gendered? (08:48) Fairness versus equity in relationships (11:44) Weaponized incompetence (14:49) What happens to a relationship when it’s parentified for too long? (17:19) Notice, shift, repair (18:45) What to do when you notice yourself taking on too much responsibility for your partner (21:08) People pleasing, and the need to fix things (22:46) How to ask the right questions to your partner (24:07) Noticing your ADHD at play, and using it as an explanation, not an excuse (28:02) Setting an example as a parent to kids (32:24) Lesley’s parting advice (33:00) Where you can find Lesley and credits For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood. We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

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Consensual non-monogamy and ADHD relationships 34:45

30 weeks ago34:45

34:45

Monogamous romantic relationships have been seen as the norm for a long time. They’re the kind most commonly represented in the media, often as the only “right” kind of relationship. However, open relationships, polyamory, and other consensual non-monogamous relationships are more common than you might think. People with ADHD often find ways of living life outside of the typical standard. This could include being non-monogamous! Martha Kauppi is a marriage and family therapist and sex therapist. She is the author of the book Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (And Their Clients) . Listen to this conversation on jealousy, reaching agreements with your partner, and what consensual non-monogamy really is. Related resources Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (And Their Clients) by Martha Kauppi 8 Steps To Opening Up: Starting The Conversation About Non-Monogamy , a Free eBook by Martha Kauppi Martha Kauppi’s website, www.instituteforrelationalintimacy.com Timestamps (00:55) Why learn about consensual non-monogamy? (04:04) What is consensual non-monogamy? (05:36) What is the biggest misconception about non-monogamy? (08:40) Building a relationship that works for you, not just what you see in the media (11:46) Viewing non-monogamy as an option in life (15:42) Moving toward consensual non-monogamy in a relational way (21:03) How would you start a conversation about opening your currently monogamous relationship? (24:20) Tips for working through jealousy (25:35) What is compersion? (30:13) It’s OK if non-monogamy isn’t for you! (32:10) Where can you find Martha? For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood. We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
The influence of ADHD on social skills 39:22

1 year ago39:22

39:22

Social skills can be challenging for people with ADHD. Whether it’s trouble with executive function or anxiety from past situations, socializing can come with a lot of emotions. It can also be really confusing and bring up questions like Why does it seem so much easier for everyone else? Why can’t I hold onto friendships? What do I even like to do? In this episode, host Cate Osborn chats with Caroline Maguire, MEd. Caroline is an ADHD coach and author of the book Why Will No One Play With Me? Join Cate and Caroline as they talk about how ADHD affects social skills and what we can do to help. Related resources Caroline’s website Caroline’s book, Why Will No One Play With Me? Caroline’s video, How to Stop People Pleasing with ADHD To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Sorry, I Missed This podcast page at Understood. We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org . Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give…

Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

1
Introducing Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn 0:54

1 year ago0:54