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From Fatigue to Connection: A Relational Approach with Denise Brown

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Content provided by Podstarter and Deborah Bakti. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Podstarter and Deborah Bakti or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.

What if supporting caregivers wasn’t about having all the answers… but simply making space to listen?

In today's episode, Denise Brown shares a powerful reminder: presence isn’t a soft skill, it’s the foundation for trust, healing, and connection.

You’ll hear:

  • Why “compassion fatigue” is often something deeper
  • How a simple phrase like “We know this is a hard day” can shift everything
  • Why listening without fixing can be the most supportive thing you do
  • How presence and problem-solving actually go hand in hand

It’s a beautiful, grounding conversation that will leave you thinking differently about how you show up for caregivers, for your team, and even for yourself.

Tune in and take a breath with us. This one is full of heart.

Read the full show notes here

  continue reading

21 episodes

Artwork
iconShare
 
Manage episode 485166723 series 3508676
Content provided by Podstarter and Deborah Bakti. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Podstarter and Deborah Bakti or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.

What if supporting caregivers wasn’t about having all the answers… but simply making space to listen?

In today's episode, Denise Brown shares a powerful reminder: presence isn’t a soft skill, it’s the foundation for trust, healing, and connection.

You’ll hear:

  • Why “compassion fatigue” is often something deeper
  • How a simple phrase like “We know this is a hard day” can shift everything
  • Why listening without fixing can be the most supportive thing you do
  • How presence and problem-solving actually go hand in hand

It’s a beautiful, grounding conversation that will leave you thinking differently about how you show up for caregivers, for your team, and even for yourself.

Tune in and take a breath with us. This one is full of heart.

Read the full show notes here

  continue reading

21 episodes

All episodes

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The Relational Approach: In Seniors' Care
The Relational Approach: In Seniors' Care podcast artwork
 
What if supporting caregivers wasn’t about having all the answers… but simply making space to listen? In today's episode, Denise Brown shares a powerful reminder: presence isn’t a soft skill, it’s the foundation for trust, healing, and connection. You’ll hear: Why “compassion fatigue” is often something deeper How a simple phrase like “We know this is a hard day” can shift everything Why listening without fixing can be the most supportive thing you do How presence and problem-solving actually go hand in hand It’s a beautiful, grounding conversation that will leave you thinking differently about how you show up for caregivers, for your team, and even for yourself. Tune in and take a breath with us. This one is full of heart. Read the full show notes here…
 
What if family councils could become a bridge instead of a battleground? In this episode of The Relational Approach Podcast , Lisa Dawson shares what it really takes to build trust between care teams and families and how to move from frustration to collaboration. You’ll hear: How trust, not tension, sets the tone for everything else Why curiosity opens more doors than complaints What it looks like to reset when a relationship has gone off track How to keep residents at the center of every conversation Whether you’re part of a care team or a family member navigating this journey, this conversation offers hope, clarity, and practical steps for working together relationally. Listen in and explore what’s possible when we lead with trust. Access the full show notes and more about Lisa Dawson here…
 
What if the most powerful voice in the hiring process isn’t the manager but the resident? In today’s episode, Rose Lamb and Lou Watson show us what it looks like when residents aren’t just living in a seniors’ community, they’re shaping it. As a 92-year-young resident at The Village of Taunton Mills, Lou brings wisdom, wit, and a clear voice to the hiring table - literally. Together with Rose, Senior VP at Schlegel Villages, they share how involving residents in the interview process strengthens culture, trust, and connection. This episode is a powerful reminder that when we see residents as contributors, not just recipients, we create more meaningful, human-centered care environments. From the "Wisdom of the Elder" program to the five pillars of Schlegel’s “Connect the Dots” philosophy, Rose and Lou walk us through what a relational approach really looks like in practice. You’ll hear: How involving residents in hiring decisions can strengthen culture and connection What Lou looks for in a candidate (and why it’s not just about the resume) Why “value-added” is Lou’s north star when it comes to team fit How Schlegel Villages builds their relational culture through “Connect the Dots” Why honoring grief, autonomy, and different personalities matters in resident engagement This is a rich, honest conversation about leadership, legacy, and why wisdom belongs at the center of how we build culture in seniors’ care. You can learn more about Schlegel Villages here You can read Rose and Lou’s bio’s and access the full show notes here…
 
What if it’s not about balance at all, but alignment? In this episode of The Relational Approach Podcast , Dr. Katie Keller Wood brings a Montessori-inspired lens to caregiving, offering gentle wisdom on how we can reconnect with our purpose, even in the mundane. You’ll hear: How “alignment” can replace the pressure of work-life balance Why your work, no matter how small, has lasting impact What it means to discover your cosmic task How connection and purpose fuel care, even on the hardest days This is a reflective and deeply encouraging conversation for anyone feeling stretched thin or searching for deeper meaning in their work. Listen in and rediscover your why. You can read Katie's bio and more about this episode here You can learn more about Katie at katiekellerwood.com alignment-book.com Watch Katie's Tedx Talk here…
 
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The Relational Approach: In Seniors' Care
The Relational Approach: In Seniors' Care podcast artwork
 
What if the real barrier to connection in seniors’ care isn’t communication, but fear? In today's episode, Mindy Spigel helps us reframe how we respond to families in moments of fear, stress, and uncertainty. Her powerful metaphor of the “snake on your head” will change the way you see emotional reactions in seniors’ care. You’ll hear: Why fear often looks like anger, and how to meet it with empathy, not defensiveness How one warm welcome can shape a whole relationship Why language matters more than we think The impact of starting with yes , even when the answer is no Why slowing down at the start can save hours later This is a practical, compassionate conversation about building trust, reducing tension, and showing up with presence in the moments that matter most. You can learn more about Mindy here: https://mindyspigel.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindyspigel/ email: mgspigel@gmail.com Tedx Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIrXZJWs5N0 You can access the full show notes here…
 
What if the key to building trust with families wasn’t about trying to control, but about letting it go? In today's episode I speak with Joanna Osborne, Director of Food Services and Dietitian at Windsor Elms in Nova Scotia. Joanna offers a deeply human perspective on how to support families in ways that create trust, not tension. You’ll hear: Why letting go of control often builds more connection How to guide with confidence while honoring family emotions Why the way you say something matters as much as what you say How small relational gestures can soften even the hardest conversations Joanna’s “passenger seat” metaphor will stick with you, and shift how you approach those pivotal moments with families. Join us for a conversation that’s honest, grounded, and full of relational wisdom. You can read Joanna's bio and access the full show notes here Connect with Deborah: website Linked In Instagram…
 
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The Relational Approach: In Seniors' Care
The Relational Approach: In Seniors' Care podcast artwork
 
What if your stories could build the bridge between fear and trust? In this episode of The Relational Approach Podcast , Krista Smith brings her lens as both a digital marketing expert and a family caregiver, showing us how real, relational storytelling can transform how we connect with families and communities. You’ll hear: Why authenticity matters more than polished messaging How small, shared moments can shift perception and reduce stigma How families can become powerful collaborators in telling your care home’s story Why the admission process should start with “Tell me about your loved one” This episode is a beautiful blend of heart and strategy. It's a fresh reminder that the stories we tell (and how we tell them) matter deeply. Tune in to explore how a relational lens can change how you connect and communicate with your residents' families. You can learn more about Krista Smith at her website , Linked In : https://www.linkedin.com/in/thekristasmith/ or Instagram More information about this episode here…
 
In today’s solo episode, you’ll be getting a masterclass in how to better navigate and manage expectations, from both the perspective of staff and families in seniors’ care. I’ll break down the formula of Disappointment = Expectations – Reality (from Chip Conley, Emotional Equations book) and how we can reframe “unrealistic expectations” into a perspective that you can better work with. We cover a lot of information in this podcast so have provided references here: From Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown: “Disappointment is unmet expectations. The more significant the expectations, the more significant the disappointment. Every day, sometimes every hour, we are consciously and unconsciously setting expectations of ourselves and the people in our lives, especially those closest to us. The unconscious, unexamined, and unexpressed expectations are the most dangerous and often turn into disappointment. In fact, the research tells us that disappointment is one of the most frequently experienced emotions and it tends to be experienced at a high level of intensity.” “When we develop expectations, we paint a picture in our head of how things are going to be and how they're going to look. We set expectations based not only on how we fit in that picture, but also on what those around us are doing in that picture. This means that our expectations are often set on outcomes totally beyond our control. Like what other people think, what they feel or how they're going to react. The movie in our mind is wonderful but no one else knows their parts, their lines or what it means to us. Disappointment takes a toll on us and our relationships. It requires considerable emotional bandwidth.” Questions staff can ask families: What is your understanding of how our home and care supports work? Have you had previous experiences with fill in the blank, ie long term care? What are your perceptions about fill in the blank, ie assisted living? Tell us a bit about what your expectations are? What are you most worried about moving your loved one into our home? What do you need to feel more comfortable or confident with this decision of moving your loved one into our home? What's most important to you? What are you most hoping for? What would you appreciate the most from us? And what support do you need or want from us? For families, these questions can help you review and assess the expectations you have coming into seniors’ care: Why is this your expectation? How reasonable do you think this expectation is? How much are you relying on things outside of your control to meet that expectation? How will you feel if this isn't met? What needs are you trying to get met with this expectation? How important is this to you? Is there knowledge that you're missing that if provided could change this expectation? I referenced these questions from Brene Brown’s book Atlas from the Heart: What expectations do you have going into this? What do you want to happen and why? What will that mean to you? Do you have a movie in your head? Are you setting goals and expectations that are completely outside of your control? Check out Episode 2 “Bridging Gaps in Admission Anxiety: A Family and Staff perspective to hear more about the Knowledge, Emotion and Identity Gaps. Here are the 20 misconceptions that are from Now What? Managing the Emotional Journey of Long Term Care for Families , and in the book I share information and clarification with these misconceptions. I thought my loved one was going to get 24/7 one on one care. I thought clothing wouldn't get lost or damaged. After all, they're labeled. I should always be able to call and speak to a care team member right away. I felt my loved one would have the same people taking care of them. Every day. If there's a care plan, then everything on that care plan should be done every day. The only way to get respect and resolve a problem is to be the squeaky wheel and escalate it to the highest level seven. If I complain the staff will take it out on my loved one. Now that they're in long term care, my loved one is going to improve or get better (otherwise known as the “I expect the staff to work miracles”. Staff should know where my loved one is when I call or visit. I thought I'd feel more settled and relieved now that my loved one is in long term care or I thought the adjustment would take longer. I should be able to get a parking spot when I come to visit I thought I'd get regular detailed updates about my loved ones activities participation, medical information, eating habits, etc. I thought our care conference would be more comprehensive with information updates and be easier to get scheduled. I thought it would be easier to connect with other families at the home. I thought the staff would be more proactive and alerting me to additional issues, for example, foot care or changes to their habits or behaviors. I thought the room would be secure. I thought we would have more than just 24 hours to clean the room out after our loved one passes away. If I'm the POA (Power of Attorney) for Health that I should be able to make all the decisions on behalf of my loved one. I didn't think residents in long term care would or should be sexually active and My loved one should be getting more care than they're getting given how much we're paying. If you’d like to purchase a copy of Now What? Managing the Emotional Journey of Long Term Care for Families , visit my website DeborahBakti.com. You can also purchase from Amazon. You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at Deborah@DeborahBakti.com . I’d love to hear from you!…
 
Let’s face it, stress and overwhelm can be a daily occurrence which interrupts how we are showing up and impacting others. This can then contribute to the frustration and friction between staff and families in seniors’ care. As much as stress is a reality, having negative reactions and ruminations is optional. This is one of many things I took away from my conversation with Trish Tutton. If you would love to have some practical and simple tools in your back pocket to help you feel less stressed, you’ll find this episode useful, uplifting and empowering. Trish Tutton bio: After years working in cultures where stress and burnout were seemingly the only way to success, Trish suffered a shocking loss and things became clear: stress is unavoidable, but it doesn’t have to dictate our lives. As a speaker and mindfulness teacher, Trish has taught the skills to become UNSHAKABLE and THRIVE amidst change and challenge to over 10,000 people across North America. She is passionate about helping folks become more resilient and less stressed with simple but impactful mindfulness techniques. You can find her as a teacher on the #1 free meditation app in the world, Insight Timer, and she is the author of the Mindful Mornings Journal. My training highlights include: With a background in non-profit events organization, I have a deep appreciation for those working in high-stress environments. Over 15 years of personal practice and study with world class teachers like Jon Kabat-Zinn, Tara Brach, Mark Coleman, Bernie Clark, Joseph Goldstein, and more. Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, via University of Massachusetts Medical Centre Search Inside Yourself , Google’s Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence course Fundamentals of Coaching, via Co-Active Coaching Science of Well-being, via Yale University You can find Trish at: https://www.instagram.com/trish_tutton/ https://www.facebook.com/TrishTuttonMindfulness/ https://www.trishtutton.com/ Mindful Mornings Journal on Amazon A great blog post: https://www.trishtutton.com/blog/coping-strategies-for-stress-5-ways-to-stress-better You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at Deborah@DeborahBakti.com . I’d love to hear from you!…
 
In today’s episode, we talk about The P Word, a topic we don’t typically like to even think about, never mind plan for. My guest, Dr. Sammy Winemaker shares her experience, knowledge and insights with her compassionate, approachable and pragmatic style, which has been likened to as a Mr. Rogers kind of approach to care. Let’s face it, death is a reality, and when we have a loved one living in seniors’ care, it can be difficult to face. Yet knowledge is power for both the staff providing care, and the family going through this emotional journey. This is a conversation that will help you think about the palliative approach with a bit more optimism and hope. About Dr. Samantha Winemaker Dr. Samantha Winemaker is an Associate Clinical Professor, Department of Family Medicine, in the Division of Palliative Care at McMaster University. She teaches palliative care to health care professionals. She won the Ontario College of Family Physicians Award of Excellence in 2010, the Elizabeth J. Latimer Prize in Palliative Care in 2018, and the Dr. S. Lawrence Librach Award for Palliative Medicine in the Community in 2019. Dr. Sammy is the author, with Dr. Hsien Seow of Hope for the Best, Plan for the Rest: 7 keys for navigating a life changing diagnosis and a founder of The Waiting Room Revolution. You can find out more here: https://twitter.com/SammyWinemaker https://www.instagram.com/sammy.winemaker/?hl=en https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.sammywinemaker https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-winemaker-01ba21163/?originalSubdomain=ca Summary of Questions from this episode Questions staff can ask families How about we talk about the illness that landed your loved one here at our front door. How much do you understand about the circumstances or the health challenges that your loved one has that required them to come to long-term care? Let’s talk about that. Whats your understanding of your loved one’s illness? What’s your understanding of the decline you were seeing at home or the increase in their needs? Did you understand how that connected with their underlying illness or illnesses? Did you ever ask anyone before you came here? What to expect going forward with this particular condition? What did they tell you? And if they hadn’t discussed that with you, is that something that you would like to talk about today because it can really help you, give you a roadmap. You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at Deborah@DeborahBakti.com . I’d love to hear from you!…
 
In this week’s episode, join us for an insightful and heartfelt episode with Kristen Leal, Director of Programs at peopleCare Delhi LTC and Anita Friesen, whose mom is a resident and has been living at peopleCare Delhi LTC since October of 2022. This conversation was so heartwarming, and you can feel the care and respect Kristen and Anita have as partners in care. Together, we explore the power of empathy and understanding in seniors care, from the challenges of cognitive decline to the impact of community-building initiatives like Kristen’s Now What? book club. Through personal stories and shared experiences, we uncover the importance of building relationships between staff and families, breaking down misconceptions about long-term care, and creating supportive environments where everyone feels valued and connected in their long-term care homes. Tune in as we celebrate the resilience, compassion, and dedication of caregivers and families in the journey of senior living. Learn more about peopleCare Communities by visiting peopleCare.ca. You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at Deborah@DeborahBakti.com . I’d love to hear from you! I See What You Do by Anita Friesen To all the Staff at peopleCare Delhi LTC It has become apparent to me that YOU NEED TO BE TOLD . . . I SEE WHAT YOU DO! When I come for a visit and step inside. You greet me with a smile. I SEE WHAT YOU DO! When I walk down the halls. You work with such passion. I’ve seen it from you before. I SEE WHAT YOU DO! Your hours are long. You’re always on your feet. You must be exhausted. I SEE WHAT YOU DO! You come to your job. Leave your problems behind. Become part of a new family. I SEE WHAT YOU DO! The residents are dressed, bathed and fed. I SEE WHAT YOU DO! When someone is blue. I see you put your hand on their arm. You whisper or tell them a joke. They are no longer blue. I SEE WHAT YOU DO! You know all their names. Their likes and dislikes. I SEE WHAT YOU DO! A calendar listing all the events. Entertainment for residents, family and friends. I SEE WHAT YOU DO! Meals are prepared three times a day. The dishes are endless and don’t stop all day. I SEE WHAT YOU DO! The laundry is washed it’s dried and then sorted. A sock may be lost . . . there’s nothing you can do. Cause just like the dishes it’s endless too. I SEE WHAT YOU DO! The meds are dispensed with accuracy and care. I can see that when I am there. I SEE WHAT YOU DO! The cleaning is done. And the maintenance too. I SEE WHAT YOU DO! So this is why I have to say, I truly appreciate everything you do and YOU NEED TO BE TOLD . . . I SEE WHAT YOU DO! Love You All Anita Friesen (daughter of Godelieve VanMaele)…
 
In this week’s episode, join us for a conversation with Jennifer Cornell, Director of Long-Term Care and Seniors Services with the County of Grey. We delve into Jennifer's journey of transforming care communities, focusing on quality care initiatives, team development, and resident-centered approaches. With a fiery passion for improving the lives of residents and supporting their families, Jennifer discusses their innovative programs, including the "Colour It Your Way" philosophy and the Designated Care Partner Program. You’re going to hear some incredible practical approaches Jennifer uses, such as a Pro Attention Plan that includes a co-design approach with families. She also shares ways to respond (versus react) to complaints and her tea chats (and it’s not about the tea.) You’ll also hear how she incorporates the ABC strategy to build trust with families. Both staff working in seniors’ care and families will get great insights from this conversation with Jennifer, through her candid and down to earth reflections and strategies. Connect with Jennifer Cornell and discover more about her work at the County of Grey by visiting their website at www.grey.ca/long-term-care or reaching out via email at jcornell@grey.ca You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at Deborah@DeborahBakti.com . I’d love to hear from you!…
 
In this conversation with Fraser Wilson, he shares an inspiring and doable roadmap to building community connections, based on his newly released book Achievable: A Simple and Proven Way to Create a Culture of Possibility and Potential. You’ll hear practical ways Fraser led a team of seniors’ care homes to “Rise Above the Regs” and create a culture where residents, families and staff can live into their potential, by putting people first. Whether you’re a staff member, leader or a family member with a loved one in care, you’ll be inspired by the many stories Fraser shares where people exemplified “Making Others More”. I have no doubt you’ll gain a few ideas that you can bring to your workplace or loved ones’ home and create possibility and potential. You can learn more about Fraser at AchievableCulture.com You can reach Fraser at Fraser@AchievableCulture.com You can purchase Achievable: A Simple and Proven Way to Create a Culture of Possibility and Potential here Fraser's bio: Fraser Wilson - Visionary Leader. Author. Talent Enabler. He’s the author of forthcoming book : Achievable. A Simple and Proven Way to Create a Culture of Possibility and Potential. Fraser’s personal motto is “ Making Other More.” He has a deep desire to improve the lives of leaders and frontline team members by sharing a simple, more impactful way to enable people to live into their potential and achieve exceptional outcomes. He was owner and CEO of OMNI Health Care which had 16 long-term care homes and 1,500 employees. He sold it in 2007 to a private equity firm based on its culture, brand, and financial performance. In 2017, he joined Chartwell Retirement Residence as Vice President of Long-Term Care Operations where he was responsible for 27 homes and 5,000 employees. While there, his team won awards within the company and in the sector. They accomplished a 15 percent increase in resident very satisfied score, and a 7.5 percent increase in employee very engaged score in the two years. And they were gaining momentum, until the pandemic hit in March 2020. In his second year with Chartwell, he was awarded Executive of the Year. He has also served on the Board of Director of the Ontario Long Term Care Association for more than 15 years and has been its Chair. He knows what it takes to be a leader who inspires and motivates people in a sector that is heavily regulated, over scrutinized, underfunded, and chastised by the media. You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at Deborah@DeborahBakti.com. I’d love to hear from you.…
 
In this episode, I chat with Sam Peck and Liane Pelissier from Family Councils Ontario (FCO) You’ll hear how they define the role of a family council within long term, care, as well as some misconceptions about the role of family councils, from both the home and family perspective. You’ll also hear how FCO is focused on helping homes rebuild the trust between families and staff, as we continue to recover from the last few years. You’ll also hear some interesting perspectives on conflict and ways to work through the frustration and misunderstandings to achieve more collaboration and partnership. Whether you work in a home or at the corporate level, or are a family or a family council member, this conversation will give you insights and clarity around the power of partnership with your family council. Here are the bio’s for this episode’s guests: Sam Peck, Executive Director Family Councils Ontario Sam (she/her) is passionate about helping people and groups achieve their goals. In her 15 years with Family Councils Ontario (formerly Family Councils’ Program) she has supported thousands of family members and long-term care home staff to improve their work to achieve the best possible outcomes and meaningful impacts. In her role as Executive Director, she focuses on building and maintaining relationships with funders, stakeholders, and interconnected organizations to carry out activities that support FCO's mission & develop strategies that enable the organization to create positive change within the long-term care sector. Sam holds an Honours B.A. from York University. A dedicated lifelong learner, she also holds Advanced Client-Directed Case Management and Volunteer Management post-graduate certificates from Humber College, Project Management Certificate from the University of Toronto, a Masters Certificate in Adult Training and Development from the Schulich Executive Education Centre, and is currently working on a Voluntary Sector Management Certificate from Ryerson University. In her spare time, Sam is an avid athlete, reader, volunteer, and sci-fi fan. Fun fact: she has 3 cats! Liane Pelissier, Client Services Manager with Family Councils Ontario. Liane has been with FCO for 2 years. She is passionate about Making a Difference and helping others, but most particularly those living, working and family members in LTC. She has 19.5 years of experience of working in a LTC home as a Resident and Family Services Coordinator, helping support residents and families as they transitioned into LTC. Part of her role was being the Staff Liaison for the home’s Family Council. Her years of experience helped her to develop great skills in communicating with and supporting families, residents, and staff in LTC. Liane holds a background in Social Work. She is also Pieces and U-first Trained. She is a certified Gentle Persuasive Approach Coach through Behavioural Specialist of Ontario. Through the years she has gained knowledge, experience and training in Palliative Care, Customer Service and Person Centered Care Approach. Throughout her career in LTC she has been involved in Strategic Planning, Goal Planning, Accreditation and Ministry Compliance. In her personal life, Liane loves to spend time with her family creating memories. You can find Family Councils Ontario at www.fco.ngo You can reach Sam at speck@fgo.ngo and Liane at Liane.Pelissier@fco.ngo You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at Deborah@DeborahBakti.com. I’d love to hear from you.…
 
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