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Excel “Em-Vee”

Michael Vorpahl

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I wanted to bring different insights to everything. Everyone has different views and with numerous years in the military and getting involved in the fitness world more heavily I know I can make a difference for you all. Much love for the support and even more love for the haters. Keeps me motivated for you and let’s change something as normal guys and gals. I will keep it real if you do. Well even if you don’t, I will. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/michaelvorp ...
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"Fine" Dining

Michael Ornelas

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Comedian Michael Ornelas dives deep into the stories behind your favorite chain restaurants like Cracker Barrel, McDonald's, and Dunkin' before determining if they are better or worse than Chili's: the most mediocre restaurant in America.
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☕ Dunkin’ Donuts: Handled Donuts, Munchkin Origins & Al Pacino’s Dunkaccino ☕ Dunkin’ may be a coffee giant now, but its journey started with donuts — one in particular with a literal handle. In this week’s episode, I break down the entire rise of the chain formerly known as Dunkin’ Donuts, from its humble beginnings in Quincy, Massachusetts, to be…
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🍕 Papa Johns: The Pizza Review That Gave Us Indigestion 🍕 We reviewed Papa Johns… in the lobby. One item at a time. On plastic chairs they dug out from the back. Make no mistake, this branch of Papa Johns rules, but at the end of the day: it's still Papa Johns. After learning the ingredients now arrive in prepackaged plastic bags from an employee l…
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The director of Dimension 20, Michael Schaubach (he/him) and I chatted about bringing the most epic performance to Madison Square Garden, how he views the upcoming live shows (it's Taylor Swift related), how he makes people feel welcome on set, and whether or not he owes the Director of Photography an apology.…
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🍕 Papa Johns: Garlic Dip, CEO Scandals, & the First Bitcoin Pizza 🍕 From a broom closet in Indiana to viral garlic sauce bath bombs, Papa Johns has had one of the weirdest journeys in chain restaurant history. In this episode, I explore the story of America's youngest major pizza chain — the sauce that changed the industry, the man who ate 40 pizza…
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🌶️ Chili’s IS the Most Mediocre Restaurant in America (Part 2) 🌶️ After 100 restaurant reviews, this was it. Chili’s officially earned the perfect 5.00 out of 10, making it the most mediocre restaurant in America — the ultimate point of comparison for every meal to come. In this episode, I’m joined by returning guest VyVy Nguyen as we review the En…
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🌶️ Chili’s: They Started in a Post Office?? 🌶️ Chili’s. For nearly 50 years, it’s been slinging margaritas, sizzling skillets, and vibes that are somehow both flirty and corporate. In this episode, actress and podcast 3-timers guest club VyVy Nguyen is back to explore the surprisingly spicy history of this chain restaurant icon with me — from its p…
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Denise Valentine (she/her), the legendary make-up artist for Dimension 20 and more, talked to me about what her goals were for Brennan Lee Mulligan in Dungeons and Drag Queens, why Aabria Iyengar changes the game, and what the community is like. Oh, and also, she takes the meeting in the biggest flex imaginable.…
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🦞 Joe’s Crab Shack (Part 2): Heavenly Shrimp, Sloppy Lob, & Dessert Scores 11 out of 10 🦞 After diving into the shady past of Joe’s Crab Shack, it was finally time to eat. In this episode, I head to the Disney-adjacent location with friend and podcast voiceover contributor Sandy Rose to see if the crab still holds up. From shockingly great coconut …
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Joe’s Crab Shack has been serving seafood and sass since 1991 — but who is Joe? In this week’s episode, I dig deep into the murky origins of this kitschy crustacean-themed chain, uncovering mystery, missteps, and marketing that somehow works. From accidentally boozed-up babies to scandalous decorations and trans fat deception, Joe’s has made some s…
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We finally ate at Panera Bread — and while the bakery items impressed, the rest of the experience was a chaotic medley of kiosk confusion, bathroom code injustice, and raw onion overload. I’m joined once again by Lyss Johnson (comedian, friend, and former Panera employee) as we break down every detail of our in-person visit to the iconic soup-sling…
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Jeremy Cobb (he/him), one third of Three Black Halflings, and I chatted about DMing for Emily Axford, people being weird on the internet, an incredible new setting you can play in, and more! Get notified when the Kickstarter launches: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/rollandplaypress/3-black-halflings-city-of-the-black-rose…
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🚨 Panera Bread: Infinite Refills, Chicken Fights & Lemonade Lawsuits 🚨 From a humble Missouri bakery to one of the most recognizable fast-casual chains in the country, Panera Bread has been on a wild ride. This week, I dive deep into the breadbasket of chaos that is Panera’s history — including aggressive ad campaigns, billion-dollar innovations, a…
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🍦 We Drove 2 Hours for Dairy Queen – Was It Worth It? 🍦 We hit the road and drove nearly two hours to the nearest Dairy Queen Grill & Chill to finally see if there’s more to DQ than just frozen nostalgia. We tried three burgers (including a surprisingly delicious Flamethrower), fries, onion rings, chicken tenders, and two iconic desserts—the Blizza…
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Dairy Queen is more than just ice cream—it was one of the first fast-food chains to take over America. In this episode, we dive into how a self-proclaimed chemist helped perfect soft serve, why DQ dominated the 1950s, and the moment that changed everything: the invention of the Blizzard. Joining me is writer & director Tyler Eaton of the new horror…
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Amelia Som (any), one of the hosts of Unprepared Casters, sat down to talk about their new book, Before the Tavern: 100 Character Concepts for Tabletop Role-Playing Games, which will help you craft the perfect gun-sword character in record time.Buy their book! https://store.doverpublications.com/products/9780486853420?srsltid=AfmBOoqEr1enRR2rJo3jfy…
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After avoiding it for over a decade, I finally stepped back inside a Taco Bell—and I was not ready for what I found. The Baja Blast? Genuinely delicious. The Crunchwrap Supreme? A smart design, poorly executed. The guacamole? It's giving Home Depot. In this episode, comedian & actress Priya Pappu joins me to break down the good, the not good, and e…
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Anica Cihla (she/they), the Brand Director for Hero Forge, talks with me about the new, exciting ventures Hero Forge is up to including dope dice with your mini (or really whatever you want) inside! Plus, Um, Actually live and pun linguistics!Back the Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/heroforge/custom-dice?ref=profile_created&catego…
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Laser Webber (he/him) and I chatted about the best named trans/gnc festival in existence: The Joy Who Lived along with the power of comedy and art, the Dropout community, the Doubleclicks, and the importance on being who you are.Back the Joy Who Lived: http://kickstarter.com/projects/angelar/transjoyfest?ref=1za6cm…
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Chloe Badner (she/they), the legendary set designer from Game Changer, Make Some Noise, Nobody Asked, and more, sat down with me to chat about the joys of working for Dropout, building sets with creative freedom, learning important lessons like "if it looks edible, it better be edible," and what a pube brush looks like.…
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Hello, heroes! James D'Amato, host of great TTRPG podcasts and author of the Ultimate RPG book series, and I sat down to chat about making characters, building worlds, and how to run a one shot.Note: Due to some wild technical difficulties, you will see several edits in this (plus a bonus edit where I had to jump offline for several minutes).…
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