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Authentically ADHD with Carmen

Where the chaos of ADHD meets self-acceptance, growth, and a whole lot of authenticity

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Hi! I'm Carmen, a late-diagnosed ADHDer, ADHD life coach, and early childhood special education teacher who wants to spread awareness, relate to other ADHDers, and have fun while talking and learning about the difficulties, awesomeness, and new research behind the neurodiverse ADHD brain. ARE YOU READY?? Let's get started! carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com
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Editors’ Notes: “I want to give everybody the tools to solve their own etiquette problems,” says Nick Leighton, cohost and producer of Were You Raised by Wolves?, a weekly podcast in which he and cohost Leah Bonnema look into the many sticky social situations we all face. “With each of the questions that we get, from the bonkers to the ordinary, I always try to take a step back and ask, ‘What are the bigger principles here?’ I'm always looking for topics that help us make a larger point.” In ...
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Who doesn't love a great conversation... You know those conversations that make you think a little, laugh a lot, and on some occasion pisses you off. It's a Million Things to Say podcast is all about expanding those conversations beyond just our family and friends. By expanding these conversations, Fe Fe Buycks the podcast host hopes to create an open source of conversations. She wants to share the "aha moments", the "what the hell" moments, and definitely those life-altering moments that on ...
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Authentically ADHD – ADHD, Alexithymia, and Anhedonia: Understanding Emotions and Motivation Hello and welcome to Authentically ADHD! I’m Carmen, your host. Today, we’re diving into a topic that might hit very close to home for a lot of us: the confusing intersection of ADHD, alexithymia, and anhedonia. Now, those are some big, clinical-sounding wo…
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about abandoning dinner guests, running into former students, singing happy birthday, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠ask.wyrbw.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ …
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Hey there, welcome back to Authentically ADHD! I'm so glad you pressed play on this episode today, because its on a topic that when I learned it, i found out it was the work i never knew i was missing and this skill has given me so much more access to my authentic self. Today, we're diving into a big, messy, important topic: self-trust – or as I li…
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In this deep-dive episode, Carmen explores the constant inner conflict many adults with ADHD experience—what psychology calls cognitive dissonance. It's that mental tug-of-war between what we intend to do and what we actually do, often amplified in ADHD brains due to emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction, masking, and rejection sensitivity…
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle responding to invitations formally, watching and playing tennis, dipping french fries, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠ask.wyrbw.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS A…
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ADHD and Procrastination: Understanding the Cycle and Breaking Free In this episode of Authentically ADHD, we dive deep into the relationship between ADHD and procrastination. For many with ADHD, procrastination isn't just about poor time management—it's a complex cycle rooted in the brain's executive function challenges. We explore how time blindn…
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Published through Substack | Available on all platforms Hey ADHDers—ever canceled plans because your brain gave you a headache? (Yeah, same.) In this BONUS episode of Authentically ADHD, Carmen—your coach, teacher, and fellow neurospicy human—dives headfirst into the wild connection between ADHD and headaches. Spoiler alert: It’s not all in your he…
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about brushing your teeth in airport bathrooms, taking desserts from buffets, handling unwanted vacation guests, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or v…
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In this episode of Authentically ADHD, Carmen peels back the curtain on Cognitive Disengagement Syndrome (CDS)—sometimes called Sluggish Cognitive Tempo—to reveal why so many of us with ADHD feel stuck in a fog of daydreams, slow processing, and low energy. After a quick, relatable anecdote about spacing out in a meeting (and the panic that follows…
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Picture this: You’re on the wildest roller coaster of your life – dizzying highs, sudden drops, and your heart racing. For many of us with ADHD, early romance can feel exactly like that. Our brains light up with excitement and novelty, but those same traits that make us passionate can also leave us vulnerable to toxic relationships. Research shows …
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle flipping over cutlery, making friends in kindergarten, choosing cup holders at sporting events, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠ask.wyrbw.com⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CON…
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Today, we’re diving into the world of AuDHD – a unique neurotype that combines both Autism and ADHD. This blog post will unpack why your brain might feel sluggish, how overstimulation can quickly spiral, and how sensory overload interferes with communication. We’ll also take a closer look at Polyvagal Theory, a scientific concept that explains how …
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In this episode of Authentically ADHD, we dive deep into a behavior that many ADHDers know all too well: ghosting. Whether it's avoiding difficult conversations or disappearing unexpectedly from social situations, ghosting isn't about lack of care—it's about how our brains process and react to emotional stress. Carmen explores the neuroscience behi…
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about mowing laws without asking, coordinating invitation responses, dressing for theme weddings, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠ask.wyrb…
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Transcript: Welcome to today’s episode! We’re diving deep into ADHD and autism – what makes them unique, where they overlap, and how they shape day-to-day life. We’ll mix neuroscience, the latest research, and real-life stories to make it all click. This show is for neurodivergent adults, and also parents and educators who want to really understand…
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Shame and guilt are heavy emotions that many neurodivergent people know all too well. In AuDHD (adults with co-occurring autism and ADHD), these feelings often run deep. Unlike simple embarrassment, shame goes to the core of “who I am,” while guilt is about “what I did”. For example, an AuDHD person might feel guilty for forgetting a friend’s birth…
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! This week, Nick and Leah are enjoying a well-deserved break, but they'll be back next week with an all-new episode. In the meantime, here's one of their favorite episodes from the archives in which they tackle crashing White House weddings, stealing flowers from neighbors, charging phones in public, and much more. Pl…
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Welcome back to Authentically ADHD, where we turn emotional chaos into curious exploration. In this episode, Carmen dives deep into one of ADHD’s most misunderstood challenges: emotional intelligence. Spoiler alert — it’s not about being too sensitive, too reactive, or too much. It’s about how the ADHD brain processes emotional information on a tot…
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle playing Duck Duck Goose in Minnesota, sending out-of-office emails, taking free food samples, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠ask.wyrbw.com⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENT…
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In this episode we talk about, this vicious cycle of avoidance, guilt, and stress is not your fault — it’s rooted in the neurobiology of ADHD. But understanding this gives us the power to break the cycle. We don’t have to rely on guilt or punishment to motivate ourselves. Instead, we can focus on what works for our unique brain wiring: creating env…
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In this episode of Authentically ADHD, host Carmen explores the neuroscience behind ADHD and executive functions—those critical mental processes essential for managing daily life tasks. Executive functions are described humorously as the "backstage crew" of the brain, responsible for working memory, planning, emotional regulation, inhibition, time …
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In this 2 part journey, Carmen kicks things off by defining “executive functions” — those behind-the-scenes brain processes that help us plan, prioritize, switch tasks, regulate emotions, and hold information in mind. From there, she unpacks the neuroscience: how dopamine signaling in the prefrontal cortex gets knocked off balance in ADHD, why neur…
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about pulling out chairs for others, sharing photos with AI, making unreasonable demands, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠ask.wyrbw.com⁠ QU…
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Ever felt like someone pulled your battery out mid-sentence? One minute you’re go-go-go, and the next—you’re a human puddle on the couch, brain offline, soul buffering. That, my friend, is an ADHD energy shutdown— a deeply misunderstood, very real experience where our nervous system essentially throws up the "Closed for Business" sign. 🎧 Segment 1:…
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Hi my friend and welcome or Welcome back to Authentically ADHD! I’m your host, Carmen, and today we’re diving deep into the journey of understanding ADHD, specifically from the perspective of those who’ve received a late diagnosis. The world of ADHD is vast, and when you’re diagnosed later in life, it can be like flipping a light switch in your bra…
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle seating dinner party guests, getting spray tans, using fake return addresses, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠ask.wyrbw.com⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Di…
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In this episode of Authentically ADHD, host Carmen explores the complex relationship between ADHD, self-confidence, and the constant need for external validation. For many adults with ADHD, self-worth has often been shaped by a lifetime of criticism, and this episode dives deep into how that reliance on others' approval can undermine self-trust. Ca…
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about scheduling appointments with "ish," chewing food while on the telephone, socializing at galas, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ask.wyr…
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In this enlightening episode of Authentically ADHD, host Sunny Sparks takes us on a whimsical journey into the science and art of rest—especially tailored for those of us with ADHD. The episode kicks off with a warm welcome and a reminder that true self-care isn’t one-size-fits-all. Sunny introduces the “ADHD & Rest Tango,” explaining how the uniqu…
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Understanding Anhedonia in ADHD Because of the HIGH activity on my post about this, i am releasing this episode EARLY, SURPRISE DOPAMINE; your are welcome :) Introduction Welcome back to Authentically ADHD, where we dive deep into topics that matter to those of us navigating life with ADHD. Today, we're exploring something that many of us can relat…
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle handling hot potatoes, claiming seats at buffets, talking during musicals, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ask.wyrbw.com EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Baked P…
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In this episode of Authentically ADHD, we dive into the world of friendships and explore how ADHD shapes the way we connect with others. From childhood playdates to adult coffee catch-ups, maintaining friendships can be uniquely challenging — but also deeply rewarding — for those with ADHD. Using insights from "Let Them" by Mel Robbins and Dr. Bark…
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Have you ever noticed that your sense of time feels strangely elastic—sometimes minutes drag on endlessly, and other times hours vanish in a blink? If you have ADHD, this experience likely resonates deeply. This phe nomenon, often called "time blindness," significantly impacts everyday life, from managing tasks and deadlines to social interactions …
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Hey hey, beautiful brains! In this juicy episode of Authentically ADHD, Carmen dives deep into the wild world of cognitive flexibility — that ninja-like mental skill that helps us pivot, adapt, and switch tasks smoothly. Spoiler alert: it’s not something the ADHD brain does easily. And no, you’re not just “being dramatic” — your brain is literally …
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Dive into the vibrant world of ADHD with "Authentically ADHD"! Hosted by Carmen, a passionate advocate and educator, this podcast explores the unique perspectives and daily triumphs of neurodivergent life. Join us for insightful discussions on navigating relationships, boosting productivity, and embracing personal growth—all through the lens of ADH…
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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! This week, Nick and Leah are enjoying a well-deserved break, but they'll be back next week with an all-new episode. In the meantime, here's one of their favorite episodes from the archives in which they answer listener questions about objecting to marriages, watching strangers' luggage, asking for more chairs, and mu…
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Introduction: * Hi there, and welcome—or welcome back—to Authentically ADHD! I’m [Your Name], your host, fellow ADHDer, and your guide through the beautifully chaotic, wildly creative, and sometimes frustrating world of the ADHD brain. * Now, let me ask you something—have you ever heard someone say, “ADHD isn’t real, it’s just an excuse,” or “Oh, e…
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