To give you the best possible experience, this site uses cookies. Review our Privacy Policy and Terms of Service to learn more. Got it!
Artwork

Religion Chuck Spirit God Step Addiction Love Change Growth Self Esteem Self Worth
Player FM - Internet Radio Done Right
Checked 6h ago
Added four years ago
Content provided by Chuck Lutz. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Chuck Lutz or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.
Player FM - Podcast App
Go offline with the Player FM app!
Get it on App Store Get it on Google Play
icon Daily Deals

Steps to the Spirit « »
Step #12 – What Can I Do (part 4)

12:59
 
Play
Playing
Share
 

MP3•Episode home
Manage episode 483430015 series 2925012
Content provided by Chuck Lutz. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Chuck Lutz or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.

This is the last of our four-part series this 12.) I would like to talk about the phrase, practice these principles in all my affairs. This is certainly nothing new. I would almost say that, for me, this is an extension, or reiteration, of step number three.

For me, it seems to be like a person on television getting a total makeover. Going back to one of the references in the Oxford Group, which talk about consulting someone who is changed. The word changed seems to indicate that this person has decided to turn over their will and their life to God.

For me, this is a no-brainer. I am constantly (almost) aware of the direction my Spirit wants me to go. Sometimes I am talking in order to go my way because I have rationalized what the Spirit has said in order to satisfy my human needs. I know now that these are generally not important. I also know that if I stop myself from continuing on whatever tasks humanity has given me, I will certainly be able to discern what is that God, or my Spirit wants for me.

I realize now, that I must be constantly vigilant in order to receive the directions from my Spirit. It is sometimes difficult to strike out what I think is right for me to do, in favor of what I know the Spirit desires.

…   continue reading

217 episodes

#Religion #Chuck #Spirit #God #Step #Addiction #Love #Change #Growth #Self Esteem #Self Worth
Artwork

Step #12 – What Can I Do (part 4)

Steps to the Spirit

published

Play Playing
iconShare
 
MP3•Episode home
Manage episode 483430015 series 2925012
Content provided by Chuck Lutz. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Chuck Lutz or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://ppacc.player.fm/legal.

This is the last of our four-part series this 12.) I would like to talk about the phrase, practice these principles in all my affairs. This is certainly nothing new. I would almost say that, for me, this is an extension, or reiteration, of step number three.

For me, it seems to be like a person on television getting a total makeover. Going back to one of the references in the Oxford Group, which talk about consulting someone who is changed. The word changed seems to indicate that this person has decided to turn over their will and their life to God.

For me, this is a no-brainer. I am constantly (almost) aware of the direction my Spirit wants me to go. Sometimes I am talking in order to go my way because I have rationalized what the Spirit has said in order to satisfy my human needs. I know now that these are generally not important. I also know that if I stop myself from continuing on whatever tasks humanity has given me, I will certainly be able to discern what is that God, or my Spirit wants for me.

I realize now, that I must be constantly vigilant in order to receive the directions from my Spirit. It is sometimes difficult to strike out what I think is right for me to do, in favor of what I know the Spirit desires.

…   continue reading

217 episodes

#Religion #Chuck #Spirit #God #Step #Addiction #Love #Change #Growth #Self Esteem #Self Worth

All episodes

×
 
Artwork

1
The Oxford Group’s Influence (part 2) 15:56

icon
15:56
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
15:56icon
 
In this episode, I shall continue with the influence of the Oxford group on the 12 step program. Of course, in the beginning, the 12 step program was known as Alcoholics Anonymous , or maybe I should say that the 12 step program was contained within the program of Alcoholics Anonymous . There are many anecdotes and stories about the beginning of the 12 step program, and even though the format was new, there is no doubt in my mind that it could have been called the Noenominational Oxford Group . This will be a rather short episode. I just want to finish up on the initial connection between the Oxford group and Alcoholics Anonymous .…
 
Artwork

1
The Oxford Group’s Influence (part 1) 14:34

icon
14:34
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
14:34icon
 
Although I am still speaking about the Oxford group, I have changed the podcasts from an introduction to the Oxford group to how it actually influenced the beginnings of the 12 step program. Hence, I gave a new title to the rest of this series, which is, “The Oxford Group’s Influence”. The influence of the Oxford group reinforces my belief that this is a God-given program, or at the very least, we God inspired program. As you have, hopefully, read, the Oxford group seems to be credited with only three or four or at the most five of the steps in the 12 step program. I maintain that all of the steps in the 12 step program are influenced by the Oxford group. Below, is a diagram I have created that links many of the Oxford Groups ingredients to the 12 step program. SORRY! AM NOT ABLE TO POST GRAPHIC! I WILL TRY TO HAVE A LINK AVAILABLE BEFORE THE END OF THIS SERIES - OR EMAIL ME AND I WILL SEND IT TO YOU. Email: chuck@stepstothespirit.com In these episodes I will be speaking about all of these connections between the Oxford group and the 12 step program. It is my feeling, and I cannot emphasize that enough, that this is ultimately a God-given program and that those who contributed to it were working entirely on His behalf. I hope you enjoy the episode as well as enjoy learning about this connection.…
 
Artwork

1
The Oxford Group- Intro (part 2) 14:43

icon
14:43
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
14:43icon
 
To continue with the Oxford group, I have once again used AI to give you a description of Frank Buchanan by giving you a brief biography of his life. BEGIN AI EXCERPT Frank Buchmann Certainly! Here's a biography of Frank Buchman , the founder of the Oxford Group : Frank Buchman: Founder of the Oxford Group Franklin Nathaniel Daniel Buchman (June 4, 1878 – August 7, 1961) was an American Lutheran minister and evangelist best known for founding the Oxford Group , a Christian movement that emphasized personal transformation through honesty, confession, and spiritual guidance. His work later evolved into Moral Re-Armament (MRA) , which played a significant role in post-war reconciliation efforts. Early Life and Education Born in Pennsburg, Pennsylvania , Buchman was raised in a devout Lutheran household. His mother was deeply religious, while his father was a businessman, operating a general store and later a restaurant. At sixteen, Buchman moved with his family to Allentown , where he attended high school before enrolling at Muhlenberg College . He later pursued theological studies at Mount Airy Lutheran Seminary , becoming an ordained minister in 1902. Career and Spiritual Awakening Buchman initially hoped to lead a prestigious city church but instead accepted a position in Overbrook, Pennsylvania , where he established a small congregation and a hospice for young men. However, financial disputes with the board led to his resignation, leaving him exhausted and disillusioned. Seeking solace, he traveled to Europe , where he attended the Keswick Convention in England. There, he experienced a profound spiritual awakening, realizing the importance of personal confession and reconciliation. The Oxford Group and Moral Re-Armament Inspired by his experience, Buchman began promoting a movement centered on personal transformation through spiritual principles . In 1921, he founded the First Century Christian Fellowship , which was later renamed the Oxford Group in 1928. The movement emphasized honesty, confession, restitution, and guidance , attracting followers worldwide. In 1938, as tensions escalated before World War II , Buchman launched Moral Re-Armament (MRA) , advocating for ethical leadership and international reconciliation. Legacy and Impact Buchman’s work influenced various social and political movements, including the early development of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) , which adopted some of the Oxford Group’s principles. His efforts in post-war Europe earned him recognition from both France and Germany , receiving the Croix de Chevalier of the Légion d’honneur and the German Grand Cross of the Order of Merit for his contributions to Franco-German reconciliation. Frank Buchman passed away in Freudenstadt, West Germany , in 1961, leaving behind a legacy of spiritual renewal and international peace efforts. END OF AI EXCERPT. Frank Buckman was, for the most part, a God loving and unassuming minister. It is my belief that, in the descriptions of what the 12 step programs have gleaned from the Oxford group is very much minimized. It seems to me that pretty much all of the tenets and beliefs of the Oxford group we…
 
Artwork

1
The Oxford Group- Intro (part 1) 11:48

icon
11:48
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
11:48icon
 
The following episodes, (I’m not sure how many there will be), are about my opinions, both historic and personal, Of the Role Played by the Oxford Group in the founding of AA. I have included below an excerpt from the Internet that I asked AI to research. I don’t make a habit of using AI for anything, but it was just easier in this case because I wanted to get the information to you. BEGIN AI EXCERPT. Frank Buchman (1878–1961) was an American Lutheran minister and the founder of the Oxford Group, a Christian evangelical movement that later evolved into Moral Re-Armament (MRA) and eventually became Initiatives of Change. His work focused on personal transformation and reconciliation, and he played a role in fostering peace between France and Germany after World War II. Born in Pennsburg, Pennsylvania, Buchman was ordained as a Lutheran minister in 1902. He initially worked in Philadelphia, where he established a hospice for young men. However, after a dispute over funding, he resigned and traveled to Europe, where he had a profound spiritual experience at the Keswick Convention in England. This experience led him to develop his philosophy of personal change through surrender to God, which became the foundation of the Oxford Group. The Oxford Group, originally called "A First Century Christian Fellowship," emphasized moral and spiritual renewal. It promoted principles such as absolute honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love. The movement encouraged individuals to confess their sins, surrender to God, and seek guidance through prayer and fellowship. The Oxford Group played a significant role in shaping the early principles of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). The Oxford Group emphasized spiritual transformation through honesty, confession, restitution, and reliance on divine guidance. These ideas deeply influenced AA’s co-founder, Bill Wilson. Wilson initially attended Oxford Group meetings, where he learned the importance of surrendering to a higher power and seeking moral and spiritual renewal. Many of the Oxford Group’s teachings—such as self-examination, making amends, and helping others—became foundational elements of AA’s Twelve Steps. However, AA eventually separated from the Oxford Group to focus specifically on alcoholism recovery AA and the Oxford Group shared foundational principles, but their approaches diverged in key ways. The Oxford Group, founded by Frank Buchman, was a Christian evangelical movement that emphasized moral purification through confession, restitution, and surrender to God. It focused on eliminating sin and achieving spiritual fitness. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), while influenced by the Oxford Group, adapted its approach to be more inclusive and less religiously rigid. AA’s Twelve Steps retained elements of self-examination, making amends, and reliance on a higher power, but framed them in a way that allowed individuals to define their own spirituality. Unlike the Oxford Group, AA did not require adherence to specific religious doctrines and instead emphasized personal recovery from alcoholism. Another key difference was AA’s focus on anonymity and mutual support. While the Oxford Group encouraged public confession and evangelism, AA created a safe space for alcoholics to share their struggles privately and support one another without external pressures. END OF AI EXCERPT. So, I realize this is a lot to read, but I wanted to give you some idea of where I am going with these next few episodes. I think it is important for good understanding about the Oxford Group. After all it is web Bill W got sober, and also where he formed most of his about how he was going to formulate the 12 step program, including, of course the 12 steps!…
 
Artwork

1
Step #12 – What Can I Do (part 4) 12:59

icon
12:59
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:59icon
 
This is the last of our four-part series this 12.) I would like to talk about the phrase, practice these principles in all my affairs . This is certainly nothing new. I would almost say that, for me, this is an extension, or reiteration, of step number three. For me, it seems to be like a person on television getting a total makeover . Going back to one of the references in the Oxford Group, which talk about consulting someone who is changed . The word changed seems to indicate that this person has decided to turn over their will and their life to God. For me, this is a no-brainer. I am constantly (almost) aware of the direction my Spirit wants me to go. Sometimes I am talking in order to go my way because I have rationalized what the Spirit has said in order to satisfy my human needs. I know now that these are generally not important. I also know that if I stop myself from continuing on whatever tasks humanity has given me, I will certainly be able to discern what is that God, or my Spirit wants for me. I realize now, that I must be constantly vigilant in order to receive the directions from my Spirit. It is sometimes difficult to strike out what I think is right for me to do, in favor of what I know the Spirit desires.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #12 – What Can I Do? (part 3) 12:53

icon
12:53
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:53icon
 
In this episode , I would like to talk about the phrase we tried to carry this message to others . I tried to remember that these original 12 steppers were pretty much just putting 1 foot in front of the other each day. They knew that, in most cases, they began their journey to recovery as a result of someone else sharing with them what it used to be like, what happened, and what it was like now. They knew it was important to try to help others and all they knew was to help them in the same way in which they themselves were helped. This is how it all began. There was no book. There were no posters of this 12 steps hanging on the meeting walls. Heck, there weren’t even any meetings, at least not like we know them today. It was all about passing it on and mostly was the it was, well, “it was God, and hope, and love, and a chance to once again live the life without the insanity. Some of you who are reading this and/or listening to my podcasts no special gifts we have been given. Today it may not be the same as when a couple of folks went to the bedside of one who was still suffering to offer them hope, but things are different, as well as the same. In some cities or towns it is hard to walk more than a few blocks without discovering another place where there is a meeting that night. New editions of the book, Alcoholics Anonymous , are widely distributed. Other literature about addiction and recovery is abundant. We see stories about recovery on TV. All in all, it would be hard to claim ignorance as a reason to continue to drink, to drugs, for any of the other myriads6 of addiction. Of course, we can, in no way, either relax or rest on our laurels. It seems that as much work is done there seems to be more to do.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #12 – What Can I Do? (part 2) 12:30

icon
12:30
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:30icon
 
Step 12 is not only an important step in order to help me maintain my new way of life but it is also important because it helps to keep these 12 step programs flourishing. One of the best phrases I’ve heard in the 12 step rooms is that of, pass it on . The 12 step program originated in the homes of alcoholics. This is where they had their meeting, probably more like get-togethers back then. These were very active groups of recovering people, people who were actually finding a new way of life through the 12 steps. Back in those days, the 12 step may have been even more important than it is today because it help people to know that there was help out there for them. So, in this original version of the 12th step, I doubt that the actual concept of a 12 step program was front and center. The 12 steps were a part of the book, a part of the program. This is why, I think, it says “as a result of this course of action ”. I don’t believe they could yet put their finger on exactly what was happening.; They knew they had to clean their own house; they knew they had to help others; they knew that somehow this all has to do with their trust in God.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #12 – What Can I Do (part 1) 13:02

icon
13:02
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
13:02icon
 
step 12 is the wonderful conclusion to the 12 steps. Mind you, I don’t mean the conclusion to working the steps. Step 12 is simply the last step in the order and gives us the wonderful opportunity to pay back the new way of life we’ve received. As a reminder step 12 is: Having had a spiritual experience as a result of this course of action I tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all my affairs. I have decided that this step should be coupled with the Gift of Compassion . As I have said before in my writings, some of the words of the steps been changed since the first edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous . I am not absolutely sure what the reason was for these changes. In this step, I think the most important change that has been made is the change of the word experience to the word awakening . I feel this change was made in order to make the program more appealing to those who did not want to consider having a spiritual experience . Again, as I said before, I think it is wonderful that this program, in a psychological format, is helping people become well. However, all my writing is geared toward helping people recognize that this is a God-given program, and above all, one that teaches us to depend on God in order to become whole once again. As far as my experience with step number 12, I discovered that I needed to get my pride out of the way, and stop thinking in terms of what “I” was going to do to spread God’s word and help everyone recover. This is what I will be talking about in this first part of step12. Did I indeed have a spiritual experience? Maybe it has been a slower spiritual awakening. Well, for me it has been both.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #11 – Keeping in Touch(part 4) 12:41

icon
12:41
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:41icon
 
In this episode, I will be speaking about the last phrase in step number 11, “and the power to carry that out”. At this point in my life, I find that I am constantly returning to the words of the first few steps in this program. For instance, in the first step I referred to my powerlessness, (over everything), and that my life was not manageable. In essence I was living a life of (as described in step number two) insanity, or insane behavior. So, sticking with the second step, “I came to believe that a powe r could restore me to sanity”. This is very same power is that to which I refer and step number 11 What I need to say here is that now is not the time to start looking for this power. This power is ours for the taking or maybe I should say asking, as a result of step number three. This is where I have turned my will and my life over to the care of God . All the power I will ever need, flows through and around me from my Spirit, as a result of saying “ye”s to God. Some parts of this program can be done piecemeal, but I do not believe that developing my union with God is one of them. This is also why I am certain that this God-given program has been designed in an order that demand that we follow it. In the second step we learned that there was hope for that insanity we discovered in the first step. The third step provides us with the most simple yet most difficult decision we will ever make in our lives. This is where I surrendered to God’s way . This is where I knew that everything was going to be okay. This led me to cleaning up the wreckage of my past by identifying the problems, asking God to take them away for me, making amends to those I had harmed, and accepting the methods to continue my life in a way that would be pleasing to God. A piece of cake , right? Well, for those of us who are working the program, there is the assurance of an ultimate, wonderful, reality. You also know what I mean when I say we have to work for it.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #11 – Keeping in Touch(part 3) 13:23

icon
13:23
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
13:23icon
 
In this episode, I will still be talking about step number 11 and this is part number three, in particular the part of this step that says, “knowledge of His will for us”. I don’t believe there is much of a problem understanding that I must try to live my life by fulfilling God’s will for me. In step number three when I said I decided to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, I was truly sincere, but if the truth be known, a little confused. Where in the world, or how, what I ever be able to discern exactly? What God’s will for me is? Of course, it was many years ago that I asked this question, and now I have learned what the answer is. For me, the way to discern God’s will for me is through my Spirit. Now, you may ask, “how in the world do you communicate with your Spirit?” Well, as I’ve mentioned before, my idea of prayer is not the conventional one. My idea of prayer is not to show or say words of adoration for God. My idea of prayer is not to ask for anything from God. My idea of prayer is not even to give thanks to God for all that I received from Him. No, I have developed the habit of giving thanks to God many times throughout the day. Now, you may consider this a form of prayer, and I would have a difficult time arguing that point. For me, I simply refer to them as moments of gratitude. Prayer, for me, is simply listening. The listening that I do have certainly not come overnight nor is it anywhere perfected. I used to try to sit quietly in a quiet place and filter out the thoughts that were running through my head concerning my humanity. I slowly learn to separate those spiritual inspirations from the run of the mill, daily thoughts. Now, I need not be in a particular place or even be in a particular state of mind in order to hear but my Spirit has to say to me. These inspiration seem to come throughout the day. The only requirement is that I try to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak I know that a lot of what the Spirit has to say to me sort of goes in one spiritual ear and out the other! The important thing is that I am trying. There are many ways and methods by which we can get ourselves into a quiet place, and prepare for meditation or contact with her Spirit. Some of these methods may be helpful at first. For me, I am slowly learning to filter out those thoughts which are not from my Spirit. Believe me, even though very frustrating at the beginning, it will eventually become second nature as long as we work for it .…
 
Artwork

1
Step #11 – Keeping in Touch(part 2) 14:33

icon
14:33
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
14:33icon
 
In this episode, I am going to talk about the idea of improving our contact with God. As I said last episode my ability to contact God through my Spirit has certainly improved over the years. It is, however, nothing like what I expected or would like it to be. As it says in the literature, we strive for perfection. I cannot remember it saying anywhere that we have become perfect. As a matter of fact, I would hope I remember that as soon as I felt like I were doing things perfectly I will stop and try to figure out what is wrong! I have found that spiritual inspiration that I receive is always perfect. To transfer that inspiration into a human action, is another thing altogether. I have, hopefully, accepted the fact that my humanity will never be perfect. It may be true that some folks really do manage something like a perfect union with God, or nirvana, or something like that when they are still alive, but I certainly can’t imagine it happening to me. However, I, will certainly keep striving for that perfection. This is how I approach this 11th step every single day. I try to listen and detect exactly what it is my Spirit is trying to direct me to do. Sometimes, for fleeting moments, I get it. Then, for some unknown reason, it becomes watered down . My humanity has taken that perfect thing, that perfect inspiration that I received from my Spirit, and made it into something I felt I could more easily live with. I’m not sure what it is what happens between the time I listen to my spirit and I try to put that inspiration into action, but something happens that it’s not nearly as pure as it started. This is why am constantly trying to improve my attempt to contact with God. I think I really am getting better at it!…
 
Artwork

1
Step #11 – Keeping in Touch(part 1) 13:49

icon
13:49
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
13:49icon
 
As a reminder ,this is the 11th step is: “I seek, through prayer and meditation, to improve my contract with God, praying only for knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out.” This step is taken from the first edition of what is called the big book, or otherwise, Alcoholics Anonymous . I almost feel like, wow, I finally have gotten to step 11. This is one of my favorite steps. It has been from the beginning, even before I was serious about the 12 step program. I have tried many ways of praying and meditating. None of them seem to work, at least not to my liking. I know now what I was doing wrong. I always try to force a connection between myself and God. Since then, and especially since I have done the third step with all of my heart and soul. I have discovered what this step means for me . Please note that I say for me . I hope you remember that all of the things that I write and talk about in this podcast, as well as everything you hear in the 12 step program, are suggestions . This program is a bit of a dichotomy because it is both a “way of life” and a “suggested way of life”. That being said, I would like to speak about the meaning this step has come to have for me. I guess the most important thing that I would mention is that I do not think of prayer in the usual sense that others think of it. I suppose I would say that I simply do not pray in the usual sense of prayer. I do not say anything nor do I try to talk to God in any way. My motive prayer is simply listening. It is not listening as if I were listening to a lecture in school, or listening to someone else in a conversation. The listening I am speaking about is mostly that of dissemination. My Spirit is alway s giving me information. The trick (for me) is to try to separate that which comes from my Spirit from the myriad of other things that are streaming through my mind. It is certainly not easy. When I first began doing this it seemed like my head was Grand Central station. There was so much going on as a result of just being a human being and living in this busy and confusing world, that it was almost impossible to focus on anything that might be spiritual. It took me a long time, (I would say six months to a year), before I could clear my clients enough in order to separate my humanity from my spiritual input. Practice, (a lot of it) eventually help me to isolate that which was from my Spirit. Now, after many years of trying to listen, and trying to perfect my abilities to listen for my Spirit, I am better at it, but nowhere near where I would like to be. I have certainly discovered that this turning my will and life over to the care of God requires a lot of work. However, it is the most satisfying work I have ever done.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #10 – Spiritual Upkeep (part 3) 11:28

icon
11:28
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
11:28icon
 
So, my friends, in this final part of step number 10, I would just like to talk about the last part of step, namely, when I was wrong, promptly admitted it . As a reminder for those of you who may be new, the 10th step is, I continued to take personal inventory, and when I was wrong promptly admitted it . What I have to keep in mind as I do this step every day, is the last part of the ninth step, which says, except when to do so would injure them or others . It would be easy for me to seem like some kind “of holy roller”, and walk up to a crowd of friends, and say to one of them, “Hey, sorry I mentioned that ‘ blankety-blank’thing that you did the other day!”. For me the big thing is to try to take a mini inventory each night (or sometimes more often) and do the best I can, if I find I have done something wrong, to try to make it right. As I said it beginning this series of episodes, starting with 10th step, these are the maintenance steps. I have already done the work necessary in order to get a good start in cleaning up the wreckage of the past. Thank you God! Now, my goal is to keep my humanity free and clear of any new shortcomings and character defects, including those old one that would like to once again rear their ugly heads.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #10 – Spiritual Upkeep (part 2) 15:06

icon
15:06
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
15:06icon
 
In this second episode of step number 10 and how I handled it, I would like to say a little more about confidence. I believe there are two kinds of confidence associated step number 10. I am talking about what it says in the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous , 1st Edition. It talks about folks early in the program that, at this point me steps, were no longer concerned about the things, (alcohol, food, drugs, etc.), that had been a catalyst for roomed lives. I believe this feeling can come, in a minor way , through a psychological use of the program. However, I believe, as in my case, this feeling of freedom comes in a major way only through our spiritual development. I think it is important to understand what the authors of this book and the 12 steps are saying. They are saying that for them, the reason they feel free is due to their acceptance of God and inviting God to run their lives through our Spirit. Again, I am not saying that those of you who may be agnostics or atheists cannot be successful at this program. I am saying that you will most likely get a minor rather than a major result from it. Just before the section about the 10th step in the aforementioned book, there is a section of text commonly referred to as the Promises , and I would like to included below: The Promises If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self- pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, some- times slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. This thought brings us to Step Ten , which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. Every one of the promises listed above has come true for me. If I am ever in a place in my life where any of these promises don’t seem to be working well, and I know I have to look at myself through the program and my Spirit to find out what’s going wrong. It’s just like the old saying, “If You Find Yourself further away from God, who moved?”. I know this is kind of a side stepping from this 10th step, but I think it is appropriate. In the next episode, I will be back full throttle to the 10th step itself. I was just reminded about how I felt when I was doing the 10th step read those lines, and, after all, I am trying to relate my feelings as I did/do the steps.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #10 – Spiritual Upkeep (part 1) 12:22

icon
12:22
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:22icon
 
Well, my friends, here I am at step number 10. As a reminder, my version of step number 10 is: I continue to take personal inventory and when I am wrong, promptly admit it. These final three steps, 10, 11, and 12, are commonly known as the maintenance steps. These steps don’t provide me with maintenance in the same way as my car, say, every 5000 miles. Hopefully, I learned to apply these maintenance steps at least once every day, and usually, more often than that. Yes, it would be like driving my car to the shop every morning for a checkup. The mechanic, probably after saying, “oh my God, not him again!”, would start noticing even the smallest of problems. Staying with the analogy of my car, the mechanic may notice some big thing that has to be fixed immediately, or you may find an issue and tell me that he’ll keep an eye on it and see if it gets worse. This is somewhat how it is for me in applying this 10th step to my spiritual progress. Sometimes I would do something and it bothers me so much that I know I have to try to repair the damage as soon as possible, both for my well-being, as well as that of the person I may have harmed. For me, this step is a continuation of the fourth through ninth steps. That is why it is a maintenance step. It allows me to sort of keep an eye on myself as I continue to see my life through the eyes of my Holy Spirit and God. There is no need for maintenance on the first three ( Grace ) steps. Once I have earnestly and solemnly done them, and said “yes” to God, I became a changed (the word used in the Oxford group) human being. I need not repeat those first three steps because my “yes” to God is an eternal one. However, saying “yes”, while consecrating us for eternity as a child of God, does nothing, in most cases to smooth over our human foibles. No, this is our constant human battle to become the person God has designed us to be, with the help of our Holy Spirit.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #9 – True (Spiritual) Grit (part 2) 12:23

icon
12:23
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:23icon
 
Here we are at part two of step number nine. To refresh your memory, step nine is, “Made direct amends to such persons wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others ”. So, I am looking at the phrase, except when to do so would injure them or others , as the second part of this step. Now, the key phrase within this phrase of the ninth step, is them or others . As I recall doing this step myself, I sometimes hesitated or downright avoided making amends, because I, myself , felt uncomfortable in approaching whomever it might’ve been. I got over it, with God’s help, and eventually made the amends. I realized as I was doing the step that my discomfort was not on of the reasons to avoid making amends! There were a couple of instances when I knew in my heart that by speaking to a particular person might cause animosity between them and another. For that reason, only in those two instances, I avoided the amends process. However, I completed my list for all the other names except for two. One of the two had died and the others whereabouts is unknown to me. I am truly hoping that someday I will meet with them and fulfill be amends process. I would like to mention here that some of you may have a difficult time trying to make amends. Some of you will face the possibility of repercussions of legal, or even criminal sort. I cannot advise you in these matters. You may want to obtain legal counsel, and/or speak with a sponsor, mentor, or clergy. Remember, ever since the second and third steps, you are working with the power and support of God and your Spirit. I hope you are able to put yourself in God’s hands.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #9 – True (Spiritual) Grit (part 1) 12:23

icon
12:23
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:23icon
 
In this episode I will try to relate what it was like for me to wrestle with step nine. My version of step nine reads as follows: “I made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” I am going to treat this step in two parts. The first part has to do with making direct amends wherever possible. The second part will deal with injuring them or others . Let me tell you at the get-go that the mere existence of this step triggered my unbelievable skill at rationalization. In the first part of this step, my rationalization seemed to argue with the word direct . I mean, there are so many other ways to contact people these days, and so much easier than some crazy need to approach them face to face. However, this step directs us to do exactly that, using that word direct . I truly needed to look people I had harmed in the eye as I made my amends. What form did my amends take? Well, they went something like this: “Hi, (name here), remember the time I argued and said those nasty things to you? Well, the reason for most of that was what I’ve discovered to be my problems with alcohol. I am here to let you know that I am sorry for what I did. I’m doing this as part of a program I am working that will help me to treat myself better, as well as those around me. I am doing this with the help of God. My hope is that you will understand and accept my apology.” In this podcast I will talk about doing this ninth step, as well as the pitfalls of trying to use other than direct communication with those I had harmed.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #8 – A List with Willingness (part 2) 14:22

icon
14:22
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
14:22icon
 
so, in the first part of this step I made a serious attempt at writing a list of those persons I had harmed. I did my best to hold nothing back . At times, my rationalization got the best of me. In those early days of my current sobriety I made some serious excuses for not adding people to that list of amends. Of course, none of those excuses were valid, but they make perfectly good sense to me. For example, (and this is only one of many), there was that guy I borrow $200 from and never paid back. I decided that I really knew that guy and he wouldn’t want to even see me, no less allow me to explain the situation. I left him off the list. There were others that I made some excuse to leave off the list. Since then, I have grown stronger in my Spirit, and have been able to revisit that list and add most, if not all I had harmed to it. Looking at step number nine, I will admit there are two names on that list that, after many years, I have not been able to resolve. One has died, and the other I have complete track of. Maybe someday I will come across them. As far as being willing to make amends to all those on my list, well, I was still afraid to approach many of them. However, God has given us the gift of willingness which truth did support me and gave me the courage to at least, at this point, list their names. Don’t forget that in this step we are purely making a list. There are no ramifications, although I did feel pain just writing a couple of those names. I realize now that the more I was able to empty myself onto the page, the more successful the eighth step felt.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #8 – A List with Willingness (part 1) 13:17

icon
13:17
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
13:17icon
 
This eighth step is one that I remember well. I remember it mostly because of all of the false starts I had in the 12 step program. In all of those many times that I convinced myself I was truly “working” the program, I conveniently left out some steps that I considered irrelevant to me. I remember starting with step number one (sort of), going to steps number four and five, (mostly as an ego trip). Then I considered myself ready to save my fellows by practicing step number 12. Of course, I have since learned, when I finally decided to look at this 12-step program through the eyes of my Spirit, that indeed, all of the steps are necessary. This eighth step is (my version of the steps as they are written in the first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous) : I made a list of all persons I had harmed, and became willing to make complete amends to them all. The word complete has been removed from the modern version of the 12 steps. In this first part of step number eight, I would like to talk about the, what seems to be , the simple act of making a list . I remember struggling with this list and maybe you can benefit if I share the way I treated making the list. One thing I realized was that this list was for my eyes only! I would be able to use this newfound tool called “honesty”, as I try to recall and list those persons I had harmed. One of the first things I noticed was that my rationalization skills try to complete the influence my selection of list-ees. I remember making excuses such as that an incident with a particular person was not really that bad ! I also reasoned in some cases, that the odds of seeing a particular person in the future were pretty nil, hence why bother to list them? Some of the folks I thought I should exclude from my list, had died, so I could leave them off the list. There were also those who were family members, and I rationalized that they already knew how I felt about hurting them, on there was no need to rehash all of those things. Had I followed up or allowed these rationalizations to dominate my thinking, I would’ve had a very short list. I discovered, as a result of my newfound honesty, that they could really be no excuses for not adding someone to whom making amends was necessary. It did not matter what their situation, or my relationship to them was at the current time. Some of those names that I tried to rationalize off the list were difficult to write down. However, I found that they were usually those that I needed to make amends to the most.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #7 – The Full Monty, “The Works” (part 2) 12:40

icon
12:40
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:40icon
 
I need to start this episode with an apology. When I went to publish the first part of this step last week, I realized that the MP3 files were not uploading. Then, as I looked at the episodes, I realized that none of the episodes for the past three weeks had uploaded. The reason was that I installed a new modem-router and I said it to work constantly on a 5G speed. Well, the 5G wasn’t compatible with my podcast provider and I needed to change the setting to 2.4 in order to upload the files. Anyway, all of the episodes are now live and I hope you will go back and read the descriptions as well as listen to the podcasts. Now, let’s get back to step number seven, part 2. What I would like to speak about is the final phrase of this step as it is listed in the original 12 steps, (taken from the first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous ). The phrase is, “holding nothing back”, and for me, it was a very difficult concept to hang onto. Some of these shortcomings and character defects had been my friends for many years. They were my “go to” behaviors, and I was hesitant to do away with them. The founders and originators of this 12 step program knew that, as human beings, we cherish and depend on some of these character defects and shortcomings. Hence, they inserted that phrase, holding nothing back . They knew, (as they were inspired by God) when they wrote this program, that many of us that needed and used this program, have a propensity to look for the easy way out. That was certainly me! I really wanted to hold many things back, just in case my humanity needed to fall back on them. As I did this seventh step, it would be nice if I could tell you that I overcame the tendency to hold a few things back, but I cannot. I held on to a few of these things, (some, for many years), because, well, because I’m human. I had already said “yes” to God and I was determined to do my best in turning my will and my life over to Him. However, the fact of the matter was that I was still a human being that depended on shortcomings and character defects with which to get by in my day-to-day life. Even though I earnestly and honestly wanted to allow my Spirit to control my life I am, what is referred to as, a duality . Many of today’s fads and teachings tend to negate duality and insist that we are non-dual entities . Some even say that we are figments of the Holy Imagination, and/or actors on a stage and in a movie called life. My common sense, as well as my Spirit, has indicated to me that this is nonsense, and that God has created me as a human being with free choice. I have been given that power of free choice with which to choose either the things my humanity, or to follow the will of God to live the life that is spiritually assigned to me. In order to follow that path, I must humbly, on my knees , continually try to do away with my shortcomings and defects of character.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #6 – I Was Entirely? Ready (part 1) 12:22

icon
12:22
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:22icon
 
Well, my friends, we are almost halfway through describing these 12 steps as I recall “I” worked through the. The sixth step is the third in what we call the action steps. As a reminder, the sixth step is: I was entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character . In this podcast, I will talk about how I became and how I knew I was entirely ready. Actually, in retrospect, I don’t believe I was entirely ready! As I remember, my fourth step was relatively complete, other than a few things that I just couldn’t or wouldn’t allowed to occupy my mind at the time. I have certainly discovered them after many years of practicing this program. Some of them I have dealt with, with the help of my Spirit. Some, still rear their ugly heads and I try to deal with them as they arise. In my fifth step, which I really see as a continuation of the fourth step, I try to be as honest as possible with God, myself, and another human being . That took care of the first two action steps. Now, I had to try to become entirely ready for God to remove these defects of character. I think it is important to tell you that I always have, and I imagine, always will, feel that there are two parts of me. There is, of course, the Spiritual me that I believe is perfect and joined in some way with all of your Spirits. There is also my humanity, which I believe is separate from my spiritual self. By saying “yes” to God in step number three, I made the decision to surrender the independence of my humanity. I decided to subject, as much as possible, my humanity, to that direction I could discern from my Spirit. Was I entirely ready? Not by a longshot! I did the best I could with all of the honesty that I could muster at the time. My humanity was so used to taking care of itself that it was hard for me to get it to let go. The sum total of my personality, (that some people call ego ), was screaming at me to continue to do things in the same manner I had done for many years. I really did not have the new human tools to replace those that had been ruining my life. I had to retrain my person to handle life according to the direction of my Spirit, and allow my personhood ( ego ) to develop accordingly I maintain that what some folks refer to as the ego, and give it an actual identity, does not exist. It is purely a construct, developed by Sigmund Freud, to describe behavior in a more understandable way. Ego is simply a construct , not an actual thing in any stretch of the imagination. I believe the term ego is happily accepted by some folks as an easy substitute on which to load or blame our wrongs. It is a little like the character Geraldine, played by flip Wilson, who became famous for saying, The devil made me do it! In reality, it is our entire personality that is responsible for our actions, or lack thereof. So, what this step is really all about is preparing us for the actual, humble, request and step number seven. Remember, all of these steps are immeasurably easier because I have sincerely and honestly surrendered my life to God and my Spirit.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #6 – I Was Entirely? Ready (part 2) 13:16

icon
13:16
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
13:16icon
 
The second part of step six has a couple of keywords that I really paid attention to as I was doing the step. Those keywords are God and all . As a result of the first three steps, I learn and feel that my spirit is perfect. I learned this through the love of God which truly manifested itself in my life as a result of my surrender. My goal now was to conform my humanity to my Spirit. I knew that the power I received from God could truly restore me to sanity. This restoration to sanity was entirely dependent on how well I could follow the direction of my Spirit in order to remove those defects of character my humanity had developed as defense mechanisms . How did I know God would help me? The one, simple word that describes my belief, is the word, Faith . I knew that God was on my side and would give me all the power I needed with which to conform my life to His direction. I knew that God’s power was therefore all of my shortcomings. However, as it turned out, and as I believe it is for most of us, I insisted on hanging onto some of those shortcomings. I realized the truth of the saying, “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak”. In my writings I have associated this step with the word and the gift of Readiness . There is also another gift of God that comes into play here, and that is the gift of Willingness . We have always possessed all of the gifts of God, simply waiting to be accepted and used by us. I have used them for much of my life. I am constantly using the gifts and power of God in a never ending attempt to conform my humanity to the wishes of my Spirit. I have never had a fight that has been so fulfilling and worthwhile.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #7 – The Full Monty, or, “The Works” (part 1) 12:55

icon
12:55
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:55icon
 
I would say that step number seven was yet another turning point in my 12-step program. As a reminder, step number seven, (from the first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous, and as slightly edited by me), is: “I humbly, on my knees, asked Him to remove my shortcomings, holding nothing back.” In step number six I took a hard look at all of the shortcomings that I had, (and for some, still have). I became entirely ready, or, at least as ready as I could be at the time, to have the shortcomings removed by God. This did not mean that the Holy, Almighty, finger of God would somehow appear, touch me on my head, and I would become as pure as the driven snow. No, it meant that I was entirely ready to cooperate with God, and try to control my physical self to get in line and follow God’s directions. It wasn’t too bad to say that I was entirely ready because, after all, I didn’t really have to stop, or lose, or give up anything at that point in my recovery. Now, and step number seven, I have to put my money where my mouth was. I had to actually ask God to remove all of those character defects, and I had to do it with this thing called humility ! At that point in working the steps, I hardly knew what humility meant.! It turned out that what I needed to do was to get on my knees, and trust that God would steer me in the right direction to find that elusive thing called humility. Most of all, I had to try my best to remember that humility is the gift from God that is associated with step number seven. Of course, it didn’t just appear when I decided to do the seventh step. It is a gift we receive at our inception. We need only to get our humanity out of the way enough in order to avail ourselves of this beautiful gift from God.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #5 – I Have to Do What (Part 5) 14:01

icon
14:01
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
14:01icon
 
Well, the holidays are over and I am trying to get back to a normal routine. As promised, I am going to finish up on step number five. This will be part five, and I would like to speak about some of the rewards I felt after doing the fifth step. As I’m sure you will recall, in this examination of the steps, I am trying to relate what it was like for me as I did each step. As a reminder, step five is: I admitted to God, to myself, and to another human being, the exact nature of my wrongs. As I approached doing step number five (with a priest), I was in possession of lots of baggage that I discovered as I did the fourth step. However, I did not feel as though I had to be forgiven for any of these shortcomings and character defects. The reason for this was that I was truly, for the first time, trying to do this program in the way it was designed, as a God-given safety line for us all. In the fifth step I honestly said the holy yes to my Spirit and to God. As a result, I realized I no longer needed forgiveness as I was truly a spiritual gift from God. But, that awareness did not remove the shortcomings and character defects of my human self. With all knowing perfection, God gave us steps four through twelve in order for us to improve our humanity. Two of the things that I believe are immensely helpful in starting to clear away the “wreckage of my past”, are introspection and confession. The fourth step was the introspection I needed in order to identify those things of my humanity that had prevented me from being close to my Spirit and God. They prevented me from turning my will and my life over to God, and hence, giving the will of God. The confession part came in the form of the fifth step. It wasn’t really what we think of as a typical confession . I had asked the priest that we not do that, and he and I would just have a conversation. Again, I did not feel as though I needed forgiveness, but the human me needed to get these things out and “on the table”, so to speak. It worked quite well. After finishing my fifth step I took the advice presented in the “big book”, and went to a quiet place to reflect on what had just happened. I actually did feel a sense of calmness and relief, probably more so than any I could remember in my life. Even though the spiritual me felt God’s love, and knew but I was now, spiritually, God’s child, I was still left with my humanity. It was my humanity that needed to understand those defects of character and shortcomings in myself that needed to be removed, (some slowly, and some quickly), before I could be truly committed to doing God’s work. After the fifth step, I sat in a pew in the church, and somehow knew, as I listen to my Spirit, that I would find the determination, through God, to become a better human being. I knew that I wanted to tell people about my experience in about this wonderful 12 step program. I see the fifth step as a sort of springboard to help me find my way.…
 
Artwork

1
Happy New Year 5:16

icon
5:16
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
5:16icon
 
Once again, I hope you’re having a wonderful holiday season and that you will have a safe, and spiritually prosperous new year. I will continue on step number five, part five, which will be about the possible rewards of doing step number five.
 
Artwork

1
Step #5 – I Have to Do What? (Part 4 ) 13:45

icon
13:45
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
13:45icon
 
So, my friends, in this episode I will be speaking about what many people refer to as the actual fifth step. As a reminder, the fifth step is, I admitted to God, to myself, and another human being, the exact nature of my wrongs . Of course, of the 12 steps in this podcast I use my version. I use the original version of the 12 steps from the first edition of the book Alcoholics Anonymous . That version in itself is slightly different and the version we see on the meeting walls today. In addition, when I adapt that version I change the pronouns to personal pronouns, which seems to work better for me. As a reminder, I no longer am a member of any 12 step group, so to use the word “we” would be inappropriate. I believe at first, as I did, most of us gloss over the first two parts of the fifth step. My main thought about the whole step was, “Oh my God, you mean I have to tell someone else about the things I did?”. Well, my hope for you now is that you received much strength from the second step, and realize that the power of God will see you through all of the steps. After all, we have already been through the act of speaking to God about our fourth step and have looked at ourselves in a mirror of sorts, going over these “adventures” in our own mind. All that is left now is to speak with another person. This part of the fifth step can be very enlightening and cleansing. Telling someone else about our shortcomings and character defects is like a sort of confession, but we are not seeking forgiveness. Not only was forgiveness granted as soon as we said our holy yes as a result of the third step, but we then realized it was never necessary at all. I cannot urge you enough to spend whatever time is necessary in order to find that person with whom you would like to share your fourth step. That person could be someone you have watched in your program. They may have some time under their belt, as well as being a person who “walks the talk”, so to speak. It may be, as in my case, a priest, or minister, or some other religious figure. I did this because of my many years as a Catholic and because, quite honestly I really did not have many people in the way our friends . There is also the fact that a priest will not divulge to another person anything that I say in the form of confession. This is usually the case, not only with priests, but also psychiatrists, psychologists, attorneys, and usually counselor/therapists. I cannot emphasize enough, the importance of finding the correct person for you with whom to do your fifth step. I have heard stories from folks that participate in 12-step recovery programs, who’s supposedly confidential fifth step was somehow leaked to others. Please be careful.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #5 – I Have to Do What (Part 3 ) 15:12

icon
15:12
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
15:12icon
 
So, in part three of the fifth step I want to talk about the second entity that is mentioned in the step. Who or what is this entity that we need to confide in. Well, it’s an entity that we have not found ourselves (usually) in which to willingly confide in the past. It always seemed to me, when I looked in the mirror, that this was the last person in the world that I wanted to be honest with. Why would I change that now? The first three steps, is the answer! You see, when I looked in the mirror before, I was alone. Now, I firmly believed what the first three steps told me. Number one, my life with certainly unmanageable. Number two I really and truly believed that I was certainly insane and that there was a power I could turn to to direct me in my effort to become sane. (I realized this condition of insanity when my is an honest fourth step.) And third, I had said yes, with all the earnestness at my command , and decided, in short, to allow God to influence (as best I can) the decisions I make as a human being. So, now I could talk to myself, and look at myself in the mirror, and see a person that really is loved by God and has the potential to demonstrate the changes in myself. It certainly did help for me to look in that mirror, or at myself, and rehash the fourth step as a reminder of the forgiveness of God and not only the changes that were happening, but also the newfound love I was developing for myself. This most certainly is an important part of this fifth step.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #5 – I Have to Do What (Part 2 ) 13:10

icon
13:10
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
13:10icon
 
So, what I would like to do in this episode, is to speak a little about the first entity that is mentioned in this step, God. As a reminder, this step is, admitted to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs. (You’ll find the wording a little bit different in the literature but just as a reminder, this is my version, that works well for me.) Now, you may wonder, as I did, why it is necessary to admit anything to God. After all, doesn’t he know everything anyway? Well, it’s not like I’m letting God is on something he doesn’t already know. When I finally did the steps in earnest, and incomplete honesty, it seemed to me like an assurance that I had formed the respondent with God. So it wasn’t that He didn’t know, more like I was cementing that He knows all about me, and that as soon as I said “yes” to God and my Holy Spirit, I knew that there was complete forgiveness for any possible guilt I felt in my soul. Ultimately, it was good for me to renew and strengthen this relationship with God.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #5 – I Have to Do What (Part 1 ) 13:00

icon
13:00
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
13:00icon
 
I had read this step many, many, times before. All the times I was very much involved in the 12 step program, I tended to focus on just a few of the steps. I focused on the first step because I, well, was in a detox center, or halfway house or recovery program of some sort. It was difficult to look at myself as anything but unmanageable. I focused on the fourth step because I could make myself look like I was trying to work the program and depending on how I wrote fourth step, I could actually look good. After that I zoomed to the 10th step, and told everyone how I was continuing to take a look at myself. Oh, brother! Mea culpa, mea culpa! Me and my Spirit were one! Ha! That couldn’t be further from the truth. Of course, when I worked as a counselor/therapist, I showed people how to prepare for, and do the fifth step. Some folks would do the fifth step with me. I would help them as best I could because I was good at giving advice but not so good at taking it. It would be a while before I could even begin to find humility and truly surrender to God by saying the Almighty “yes”.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #4 – My Life … In Black & White (Part 3 ) 13:15

icon
13:15
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
13:15icon
 
For this episode I will finish up on the fourth step by trying to remember exactly how I performed it. For me, although I made the lengthy list, it wasn’t so much about the things I did, but more so about the feelings I was having during my drinking days and especially the feelings I developed before I started to drink. This was very important for me because I was truly starting to become in touch with my own feelings and not those that I believe that others would want to hear. I can’t possibly explain to you the feeling I had after doing the third step. In short, I felt powerful. I truly felt like God was on my side and that I would be able to honestly look at myself, my character defects and shortcomings, in such a way that they would be useful in my ongoing quest for Spirit. And, let’s face it, that is what this is all about for me, forming a true relationship with my Spirit. All of the books I have written, this podcast, my experience in the 12 step program,, my relationships with people, and my life itself, have all been about strengthening my relationship with my Spirit.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #4 – My Life … In Black & White (Part 2 ) 12:23

icon
12:23
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:23icon
 
Well, my friends, this is of course the continuation of step number four. I really don’t have much of a description for this episode. The main thing I want to get across to you is my belief that this being a God-given program. I know that because each step seems to flow so naturally from the previous step and God seems to give us His power so that we can plod on to the next step. This is the first of the action steps. There call that because, after the first three steps we are finally required to do something, something that is physical. Hope you enjoy the episode. Again, I am sorry for the sketchiness in the microphone. I hope to have it repaired by the next episode. Also, at the end of this episode I think I led you to believe that that would be the last of this step for series. Well, it’s not. There will be one more episode dedicated to the fourth step.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #4 – My Life … In Black & White (Part 1 ) 12:40

icon
12:40
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:40icon
 
The fourth step is the beginning of the action steps. Let me just mention a quick overview of the sections of the steps. I don’t remember reading anywhere what the first three steps are generally called. I have decided to call them the Grace steps because I believe that it is through God’s grace that leads us to them and helps us through them. The fourth through the ninth steps are generally considered to be the “action” steps. I/we use them to identify, explain, ask forgiveness for, and try to make great things in our past. We refer to these things as shortcomings and character defects and they could range from thinking ill of a person, all the way to murder. Even when I became absolutely serious about this program, I was still unable to discover all of these character defects within me. Many of them are still within what I call, my dungeon. Every once in a while I find or discover another to work on and try to eliminate. The next three steps, steps 10, 11, and 12, are considered the “maintenance” steps. It is by utilizing these three steps that we are able to keep a check on ourselves, stay in contact with God, and try to help others as a result of what we have learned about ourselves. By the time I became deadly serious about this 12 step program, I had written many fort steps. I know now that I wrote them because I knew someone else was going to read them and I wanted to look good. Even if I put things in the fourth step that would be generally considered to be “bad”, I still try to make myself look good in the way I portrayed them. Of course, when I became serious about the steps and more, if you will, honest, I looked at the whole thing differently. In this episode I will try to explain how I approached the fourth step before I realized its importance.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #3 – Surrender & Victory (Part 4 ) 12:34

icon
12:34
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
12:34icon
 
So, my friends, this may be the only step that in my estimation needs fourth part. For me, this step says it all. It was my opportunity to say the almighty, eternal, “yes” to God. What could possibly be more important in my life. Since I have taken a step, and said “yes” to God, my life has been (mostly) a spiritual one. The wonderful part is, that by using this beautiful, God-given 12-step program, I always have the chance for correcting my course. I firmly believe that my “yes” to God is eternal and your revocable. This connection with God; this surrender to God, is the holy grail of any spiritual practice. Since I have surrendered, thereby achieving victory, perfection still very much eludes me. But with the knowledge of my union with God, I have a new willingness and urgency to raise my humanity to a new, spiritually directed course of action.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #3 – Surrender & Victory (Part 3 ) 13:24

icon
13:24
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
13:24icon
 
Well, now that I’ve gotten God’s attention, not I could get on with the problem of turning things over . After all, my old life was still pulling me fiercely. I believe, for a brief while, I thought I was in a position to negotiate with God. I realize now how difficult it was for me to surrender my old way of life. It was like, I could go along with leaving the spiritual stuff to God, but I will continue to handle the day-to-day “living” stuff. Believe me, my friends, when I think of my attitude in those early days, I truly wonder how I made it at all!…
 
Artwork

1
Step #3 – Surrender & Victory (Part 2 ) 15:25

icon
15:25
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
15:25icon
 
As I alluded to in the previous three description, I knew I had a thread, or spark , if you will, somewhere deep inside of me. Even though my life was almost totally negative, I seem to always carry that “idea” of God with me. Now it was time for what I call, the big conversation with God. I had no idea how, or where, to begin. This wonderful and glorious spiritual awakening Took Pl. in Lewiston, Maine. Of course, at the time, I didn’t realize it a was a glorious and/or wonderful experience. One day, however, I found myself kneeling in a beautiful, magnificent, cathedral close by. I wondered why there was such a huge church in a smallish town like Auburn, Maine. It seemed to me, at that time, that it was important there was no one around. Even though I planned on a silent conversation with God, I was sure there was people around, they would hear me.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #3 – Surrender & Victory (Part 1 ) 11:16

icon
11:16
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
11:16icon
 
So, as many of you know, this is my most favorite of all of the steps. Now I am going to tell you why, but not only why, but how I actually approached this step when I decided to work the program in earnest. I have constantly touted how this is, in my estimation and experience, a God-given program. I have also remarked about its organization and how well one particular step leads naturally and spiritually into the next. When I reached the third step, I was literally broken. I was, however, hanging onto some semblance of a higher power. This really saved me, I’m kept me from floundering in the program without direction. I believe now that this little thread of higher power, this faint awareness of the knocking of our Holy Spirit, can get us on track to begin the repair of our lives. The third step tells me that I need to make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God . What would necessitate such a decision? What could overcome this so-called ego of mine so much that I would think that there might be a better way? Well, for me it wasn’t difficult! At that point I seem to have one foot in the ice cold water, and the other foot on thin ice.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #2 – Finding God Once Again(Part 2 ) 15:18

icon
15:18
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
15:18icon
 
As I continue, I found myself at step number two, I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity . As in step one, it seemed like my first time seeing or understanding, in my limited way, step number two. I had always had some beliefs in God. It was my self that I had a real problem with. Most of my life I forced myself to be separate from God, mainly because I did not believe God could love a loser like me. But for some reason, those words of the second step seemed to burn into my being. I could see, just how insane my life had become. I believed, as it said in the first step, that I had not been able to manage my own life. I needed help desperately, and perhaps for the first time in all seriousness, I completely threw myself at the feet of God. I truly believed that God could help if I was able to get my self out of the way. For the first time I was able to understand that my life was truly insane. It was truly unmanageable. I needed a manager and I believed, for the first time, that my only option left, my only chance at life itself, was to accept the help of God.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #2 – Finding God Once Again (Part 1 ) 14:45

icon
14:45
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
14:45icon
 
Well, I have just accepted step number one as a “fact” of my life. I was truly at the very lowest point in my existence. Nothing else mattered, other than to run away, keep drinking, and wallow in my bottomed-out self-esteem and self-pity. Now, here comes one of the many miraculous parts of this 12-step program. It is the answer to the problem I recognized and admitted in step one. As you may have heard me say many times before, I easily compared myself to the story about the person that got hit by a bus. They were trying to cross a busy street in downtown New York City. The life had changed to “don’t walk”, but that person decided they could make it across the street anyway, and avoid the oncoming traffic. Well, they no sooner stepped off the curb when they were hit by a bus. After spending quite a while in the hospital, they were finally released to continue with their life. They found themselves at the same street crossing, with the blinking “don’t walk” sign. Once again, the insanity set in and they said to themselves, “this time I can do it. This time it will be different”. Once again they were hit by the bus and started the cycle all over again. They kept repeating their behavior and became sad and devastated. This is what happened to my life, my “bus” being alcohol. I was truly at bottom when it seemed like I saw the first step for the first time. I could not manage my life! My behavior had truly become a sign of insanity. One definition of insanity I found is: unsoundness of mind or lack of the ability to understand that prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship. This is certainly the point I was at. Was I doomed to this wife forever? No, because here is the beginning of an answer. Here is step number two. I came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity . I hope you enjoy and derive a benefit from this podcast.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #1 – My Enlightenment (Part 3 ) 14:41

icon
14:41
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
14:41icon
 
So, in the last episode, I drank my way out of the service and began a life that I could only describe as a life of insanity. After all, every single time I drank, it was like a means to an end that was never a good one. The cycle during those years was usually coming off a drunk, usually ending up in some sort of rescue facility, or a cheap room somewhere, getting a job, possibly attending 12 step meetings and becoming involved, (at least on a surface level), and always meeting nice, helpful people. Finally I once again arrived at the point where I felt I couldn’t play this charade any longer, and began to drink once more. No matter where I was or what I was doing, as soon as I took that first drink, all was over. Thus began the cycle once more. As I said, over those years, there were periods of deep involvement with the 12 step program, and eventually, slightly longer periods of sobriety, enabling me to do some work as a therapist and counselor as well as attend three or four schools to learn about addiction counseling. When my drinking brought me to yet another program of therapy as a patient, I had already learned so much about myself, about alcoholism, and about the 12 step program, that I really tuned myself out, yet still went through the motions. Finally, during my last drunk, I was so far at the bottom that I actually was considering ending it all, something that never seemed possible for me because I thought it would completely remove any connection, however slight, I had with God. I asked the bartender for a phone book so I could look up auto supply stores where I could buy along to run from my exhaust. As I thumbed through the A’s in the “A” listings in the phone book, my finger landed on a phone number for AA. I decided to call the number and they told me where a meeting would be that evening. I believe that bartender was my first “angel” that evening. I also believe that moment in that bar was the first moment of my troop Enlightenment, the gift associated with the first step. In this episode, I will continue the story as I describe my next two angels.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #1 – My Enlightenment (Part 2 ) 13:29

icon
13:29
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
13:29icon
 
I left off in the last episode or podcast where I was headed into the Army. After running away from home and having a couple of minor run-ins with the law I wanted to get away my parents thought it might be a really good idea for the Army to “straighten me out”. It did not work! I guess I really saw the Army has one big drinking club. I somehow ended up as a military policeman. Basically the Army took a 17-year-old alcoholic and gave him a 45 and a carbine, and sent them off to work. I was lucky I didn’t kill someone because, of course, I could never be trusted to not be drinking. After leaving the service, my life developed a pattern. The details were different in each episode, but the overall scenario was the same. I started off somewhere, possibly at my parents home, or in some state that I ended up in, and began all over again. I would find a job, that I may or may not have been qualified to do, (I sometimes lied about my experiences, but I had the ability to adapt and learn just about any job), and usually do well at the job. I was always likable, at least if I was sober. I always concurrently was involved with 12-step program where I went through the motions, but never truly participated in. Eventually, the connections that I made with people, and the usual success in doing whatever job I had acquired, became too much for me. The whole mask and armor thing was too much to bear. I have described it in other writings as being similar to a pressure boiler with water inside, fire below, and steam pressure building up. There was an outlet valve to release the pressure, but unfortunately that relief valve for me was alcohol and escape. In a nutshell, my life became a series of good starts, some success, meeting new friends, and eventually through drinking, tearing the rug out from under myself.…
 
Artwork

1
Step #1 – My Enlightenment (Part 1 ) 13:10

icon
13:10
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
13:10icon
 
Step number one, when I took it, went like this: “I admitted I was powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable”. Now, as most of you know, I have developed a personal set of steps, in a form that works for me. So, my version of this step is: “I admitted I was powerless over myself, and that my life had become unmanageable”. By the time I was ready to take this step for real, I was absolutely at the bottom for me. By that time I had been through, (approximately), 20 detox places and maybe seven or eight alcohol and drug rehab programs. I knew much of the big book, ( Alcoholics Anonymous ), including chapter 5, including the steps. I went to a few schools to learn about the disease of alcoholism and counseling. I worked as a counselor or therapist and knew quite a bit about addiction and the 12 step program. I, or anyone, would not have thought I would continue to be addicted to anything. But, I kept kidding myself with the thought that this time, if I succumbed to my addiction, it would be different. This time I would be able to handle it. Well, that changed one day when I was working as a counselor or at a religious center in New York State. One day I held off and went into town to buy some clothing. I was walking along a street, saw a bar, walked right in, and sat down. The bartender came over and I ordered a beer. In the time it took for the bartender to draw that beer, many thoughts went through my head. “You know if you drink this beer, you will not be able to stop at one, or 10 or 20.” “You know if you do this you will lose everything you have worked for in the past year or so.” “You know you are going to run once more and lose all the friends you have developed so far.” As I was thinking these thoughts, these truths, the bartender came over with my beer and I picked it up, drank it with the thought of “down the hatch”, and proceeded to order more. It was at that time in my addiction that I stopped fooling myself. I no longer could tell myself that I would just have a couple. I no longer could tell myself that this time would be different. From that point on I knew exactly who and what I was. Unfortunately, it would still be many years of wearing my mask and armor, before I would take any serious steps towards wellness.…
 
Artwork

1
The Steps - How I Do Them (Part 2 - Intro) 14:28

icon
14:28
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
14:28icon
 
So, to continue with this introduction, or should I say my introduction to the 12 step program, well, it’s not pretty. The root cause, or reason, for me becoming introduced to or involved with the 12-step program was alcohol. Well, let me correct myself. The root cause was actually my low self-esteem and the inability or unwillingness to incorporate God into my life. My drinking of alcohol was a very destructive and terrible symptom of my underlying lack of self-worth. It was a tool that I could use to pull the rug out from under any progress I made in thinking I might be good enough to even be alive. I believe I was about 10 years old when I discovered the personality changing effects of alcohol. When my adoptive parents had company I was sometimes allowed to make drinks for them. I remember trying some of the alcohol to see what it tasted like. I even remember being given a small taste of one of the drinks with the reasoning that, “it was better I tried it at home than to do it outside”. From the first moment I was introduced to alcohol, I like the way it made me feel. I felt like someone other than who I really was, and any time I could feel that way was a blessing. Eventually, in my childhood, and teenage years, “going out” always included alcohol of some sort. I began drinking at a local bar in the Bronx by the time I was 16 years old. I also ran away from home for the second time when I was 16. I got on the plane with another kid from my school and we flew to San Juan Puerto Rico from New York. I remember being able to drink a lot for the week we were there before we were discovered as runaways and sent back to New York. I eventually joined the Army when I was 17 years old., My parents signed the papers for me to enlist, hoping it would help me. It didn’t! I saw the Army as one big drinking, club. After the service I continue drinking, spending time occasionally in hospitals and rehab facilities. Nothing worked. Sometime during those episodes I created a son with the help of a woman who I’m sure had, in different ways, many of the problems that I had. I was on yet another bender when I was told that the baby was stillborn. I had no reason to not believe this, and it wasn’t until recently that I found I had a son. We connected for time, (happily, I thought), but he has since decided to end our connection. I have no idea why, but it is his choice and I will not impose on that. I ended up in more rehab facilities than I can remember. I finally received my first DWI and ended up in jail overnight. This all has to do, I know now, with “me” running away from “me”. I was a person who was doing the exact opposite of what this 12 step program suggested. I also had periods of sobriety when I seem to do well, at least in a physical sense. I managed to get some schooling and work for a while in a rehabilitation facility. All the while I thought, “Who am I kidding? ”, I knew the book and the steps inside out, but had yet to apply any of them to my life. I lied about working the steps and I lied about my life becoming better. Every time I seem to make progress, I pulled the rug out from under myself. One afternoon I found myself considering the one thing I said I would never do, suicide. Through the grace of God in that terrible, devastating time of my life, I ended up at yet another 12-step meeting. But, miraculously, this one was different. I was finally ready to become honest. I was finally ready to surrender.…
 
Artwork

1
The Steps How I Do Them (Part 1 - Intro) 15:20

icon
15:20
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
15:20icon
 
I have not posted much about the 12 steps in quite some time. It seems like it might be time to take another look at the steps. I’m not going to just rehash what I’ve said before. I’m going to try to take a personal look at the steps from my vantage point . I am going to try, (with as much honesty as I can), to share how I have worked and am working this 12-step program. As those of you who have been following this podcast, or reading my books, know, I believe this program to be a God-given one. I believe, with all of my being, that this is a spiritually based roadmap with which to learn to live my life under the direction and guidance of God. If I were to read what I have just written (above) years ago, it would have been quite intimidating. Believe me, my friends, traveling on this spiritual road is not difficult. As a matter of fact, once I have accepted the strength and guidance of God and my Spirit, the road is as smooth as silk. However, I still have my humanity to deal with, which becomes, at times, quite the rocky road. My blindness doesn’t allow me to speak to groups any longer. When I did speak to them, especially after finding my beautiful place in the Spirit, I was not well received. You see, twelve-step groups are, ultimately, a cross-section of the same society that exists everywhere else. The only difference is that they are fighting a particular addiction, or life problem, that is common to that group. Generally speaking, they are happier and more comfortable listening to a speaker relate humorous, exciting personal, and dramatic stories. Most folks are more comfortable with narrations that seem to zero in on their human emotions rather than their spiritual selves. I truly, (and sadly), believe as I write this podcast description, that a very small percentage of humanity will ultimately choose Spirit over their physical selves. The Spirit knocks at our human shell continuously. It asks to be recognized. It asks to be allowed to help us. We need only to answer in the affirmative. We need only to say “yes” to our Spirit and to God. If you are familiar with the steps or are involved in the 12-step program, you are probably aware that this beautiful decision can be found in the first three steps. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of absorbing the message of the first three steps into our beings. These steps, and their absorption into our lives, signify the new beginning that most of us are looking for. It can be, through these three steps, that I can say the eternal, loving, “yes” to God. It is through these three steps that I can surrender . It is through these three steps that I can be victorious . It is through these three steps that I can have the greatest power ever imagined at my beck and call. It is through these three steps that I can begin to reclaim my sanity. It is through these three steps that the yoke of human suffering can be shed from my shoulders. They represent a new power, a new beginning, a new freedom, and a new love that is eternally ours. It is through these first three steps that we receive the power and the fearless ability to delve into the following nine steps. Once those first three steps are taken completely and sincerely, nothing can ever hurt us again! This is why we are urged to take these first three steps. As it says in the literature, “ What an order I can’t go through with it… but there is one who is all power, that one is God, may you find Him now”. These are some of the things I will be describing, from my point of view, in the next episodes about the 12 steps. In my early experiences with the 12 step program, I tried to get through these steps as quickly as possible, and to do them on my own . It took me many, many tries before I realized my rationalization had to be prevented, and I had to abandon myself to God in order to get anywhere. I finally realized…
 
Artwork

1
The Beginnings of a Way of Life! (Part 10) 15:58

icon
15:58
icon
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Play Later
iconicon Lists
iconicon Liked
15:58icon
 
Yes, I am finally at the summary of this series of episodes about the beginnings of our way of life, and how those beginnings are so closely related to the Oxford Group. So, when I think about all of the lists, steps?, And the general way of life given to us by the Oxford Group, I need to let it all go. Although the Oxford group provided us (Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob), with all of the ingredients with which to create our 12 step program, they had to disappear. We now have what has become a new set of spiritual principles that are encased in our 12 steps. Maybe this is the way that God allowed the 12 step program to be born. He didn’t control us. When all is said and done we must hold true to the concept of free will. The choice is ours. The choice will forever be ours until there is no longer a choice to make. Those of us who choose to say “yes” to God, realize that in some way, or many ways, this is a God-given program. We realize that as a result of our surrender, we achieve a victory surpassed by none other. My wish is that you have said “yes”, and are also on the path to experience and feel the eternal, perfect, love of God. Thank you for listening. In the next series of episodes I will once again, go through the 12-steps in greater depth than I have in the past, and attempt to describe how they affected me personally .…
 
Loading …

Welcome to Player FM!

Player FM is scanning the web for high-quality podcasts for you to enjoy right now. It's the best podcast app and works on Android, iPhone, and the web. Signup to sync subscriptions across devices.

 

icon Daily Deals
icon Daily Deals
icon Daily Deals
Listen to 500+ topics
Player FM - Podcast App
Go offline with the Player FM app!
Get it on App Store Get it on Google Play

Quick Reference Guide

Top Podcasts
The Bill Simmons Podcast
PTI
First Take
Marketplace
Comedy of the Week
The Bugle
How Did This Get Made?
Doug Loves Movies
Planet Money
TED Talks Daily
NBC Nightly News with Tom Llamas
The World This Hour
Daily Boost Motivation and Coaching
Radiolab
Science Friday
This American Life
Criminal
Sword and Scale
In The Dark
Player FM logo
Help/FAQ | Upgrade | Advertise
Arts|Business|Comedy|Economics|Entertainment|News|Politics|Religion
Science|Soccer|Sports|Storytelling|Technology|True Crime
Copyright 2025 | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | | Copyright
Episode being played series thumbnail
icon icon
/

View Player FM in...
Player FM
Browser
Chrome
Safari
Firefox
Listen to this show while you explore
Play